How the Most Emotionally Intelligent CEOs Handle Their Power

我所見過和共事的大多數(shù)CEO已為這一職務(wù)準(zhǔn)備了數(shù)年時(shí)間。在他們進(jìn)入中層管理層之后，他們中的大多數(shù)人便意識(shí)到，做一個(gè)好的領(lǐng)導(dǎo)人比做一個(gè)好的執(zhí)行者更為重要。很多人都有自己的故事，有的經(jīng)歷了各種困難；有的會(huì)談?wù)搯T工的微觀管理；有的是因?yàn)樽约旱臒o理要求破壞了整個(gè)團(tuán)隊(duì)的士氣；還有的人因?yàn)闆]有給予足夠的時(shí)間和重視而失去了一名絕佳的團(tuán)隊(duì)成員。

Most of the CEOs I’ve met and worked with had years to prepare for their jobs. As they entered middle management, most of them learned that?being a good leader is more important than being a good do-er. Many have stories?to tell about stumbling along the way, about micromanaging people, about destroying a team’s morale with unreasonable demands, about losing a great team member because enough time and attention weren’t?given to the relationship.

大多數(shù)人都度過了這些困難的經(jīng)歷，而且更重要的是，從中吸取了教訓(xùn)。他們學(xué)會(huì)了放權(quán)，并支持下屬開展其工作。他們學(xué)會(huì)了觀察團(tuán)隊(duì)的倦怠和不服從跡象。他們非常擅長(zhǎng)發(fā)現(xiàn)誰需要得到表?yè)P(yáng)，誰需要支持，誰會(huì)因成就而獲得動(dòng)力，誰需要非常親密的同事關(guān)系，即便與老板之間也是這樣。他們掌握了打造更強(qiáng)大團(tuán)隊(duì)、應(yīng)對(duì)沖突以及協(xié)商的訣竅。

Most survived these types of difficult experiences and, more important, learned from them. They learned to let go of control and instead support people in doing their jobs. They learned to watch their teams for signs of burnout and rebellion. They learned to help people work smarter, not harder. They learned to read people well. They got very good at recognizing who needs appreciation, who needs support, who’s motivated by achievement, and who needs very collegial relationships — even with the boss. They learned tricks for building stronger teams, for dealing with conflict, and for negotiating.

人們可能會(huì)覺得，這些人在經(jīng)歷了這些事情之后已能夠勝任CEO這一職務(wù)，不是嗎？不一定。讓我們看看幾年前我碰到的CEO詹姆士。

You would think that all of this would have prepared them well to step into a CEO role, right? Maybe not. Consider “James,” a CEO I met some years back.

詹姆士所經(jīng)歷的事情比我上述提到的還要多。事實(shí)上，作為一名內(nèi)部候選人，他在上任CEO一職前擁有熟悉公司文化的優(yōu)勢(shì)。他還與各個(gè)層面以及所有地域的眾多公司人士保持著良好的關(guān)系，甚至是公司董事。

James did all of the things I mentioned above and more. In fact, as an inside candidate, he’d had the benefit of learning his company’s culture before stepping into the CEO role. He also had strong relationships with many people at all levels and in all geographies — even board members.

當(dāng)詹姆士在高管團(tuán)隊(duì)中擔(dān)任職務(wù)時(shí)，他被看作是一位有著良好形象的可靠領(lǐng)導(dǎo)。他激勵(lì)著他人，不會(huì)輕易生氣，而且能夠在獲得成績(jī)的同時(shí)不會(huì)犧牲任何人的利益。確實(shí)，他仍有點(diǎn)事必躬親的毛病，尤其是當(dāng)他感覺到事情會(huì)對(duì)公司成功造成威脅的時(shí)候，而且對(duì)于這一職務(wù)所能帶來的種種便利，他也存在一定的盲區(qū)。他喜歡與CEO搭乘私人飛機(jī)，享受擁有一名全職的辦公室主任，而且對(duì)這種生活方式也感到十分滿意。但總的來說，他似乎能夠成為一個(gè)稱職的CEO。毫無疑問，這也是他為什么最終當(dāng)選CEO的原因。

While he was still in his executive team role, James was seen as a good, solid leader. He inspired people, wasn’t ruffled easily, and managed to get results without steamrolling anyone. True, he was still a bit of a micromanager, especially when he perceived threats to the company’s success. He also had a bit of a blind spot when it came to?the trappings of the role. He loved being with his CEO on the private jet, enjoyed having a full-time chief of staff, and generally liked the lifestyle. But all in all, it seemed he’d be a good CEO; no doubt that’s why he was ultimately selected for the position.

我在詹姆士擔(dān)任CEO一年之際拜訪了他，并親眼看到了他與兩名雇員之間的互動(dòng)，這給我留下了難以磨滅的印象。事情是這樣的，我們坐在一個(gè)有玻璃隔段的開放式格局會(huì)議室中。我可以看到外面，詹姆士面對(duì)著我。在我們談話的時(shí)候，我看到兩名經(jīng)理走了過來，表情十分興奮。她們有禮貌地敲了敲門，并詢問是否可以分享有關(guān)其項(xiàng)目的一些好消息，這對(duì)于我們來說沒有問題。她們對(duì)所取得的成功感到尤為高興和滿足，一個(gè)個(gè)笑得十分爽朗，對(duì)這一成果感到十分自豪。而且我看到，在詹姆士加入之后，他們聊得非常愉快。

I visited James a year or so into his tenure as CEO and witnessed an interaction between him and two of his employees that’s burned into my memory. It went like this. We were sitting in a glass-fronted conference room in an open floor plan. I could see out; James was facing me. As we talked, I noticed two managers approaching, clearly in high spirits. They knocked politely and asked if they could share some great news about their project, which was fine with us. They were clearly thrilled and happy with their success — smiling, laughing, proud of the outcomes. James joined in and they had what looked to me like a great conversation.

經(jīng)理們離開后，詹姆士轉(zhuǎn)向我，帶著笑容對(duì)我說：“你看到了嗎？”“是的”，我回答道，“很了不起！他們干得不錯(cuò)，你一定很自豪。”“不是?！彼f，“你看到他們對(duì)我的態(tài)度了吧？”

The managers left. Grinning, James turned to me and said, “Did you?see?that?” “Sure,” I said, “that was great! They did such a good job, you must be proud.” “No,” he said, “did you see how they?are?with me?”

我很困惑，也很擔(dān)憂。他說話的語(yǔ)氣并不對(duì)勁。他繼續(xù)說道，自他升任CEO之后，女士們似乎在這里過得更愜意了（這兩位經(jīng)理剛好都是女性）。當(dāng)時(shí)，我感到很震驚，他這話到底是什么意思？

I was confused. And concerned. The way he said it just didn’t feel right. He went on to tell me that ever since he ascended (his word) to the CEO slot, women seemed to enjoy his company more (the two managers happened to be female). Now I was shocked. What on earth did he mean?

我們又聊了起來，也更深入地交流了一下。事實(shí)是，詹姆士完全忽略了他的這一角色對(duì)于其員工的意義。他把所有的事——包括奉承、表?yè)P(yáng)和獲取其認(rèn)可的愿望——都?xì)w功于自己個(gè)人的魅力。他認(rèn)為，人們對(duì)待他的方式源于他出眾的領(lǐng)導(dǎo)才干和閃亮的個(gè)性。但是他沒有想到，人們對(duì)他的態(tài)度可能是源于對(duì)他的職務(wù)和權(quán)力的考慮。

We talked. And we talked some more. It turns out that James had completely lost sight of what his role meant to people. He was taking everything — all the adulation, all the praise, all the desire for his recognition —?personally. He actually thought that the way people were treating him was 100% due to his great leadership and shiny personality. It didn’t occur to him that it might be his?role and the power that goes with it?that caused people to behave in certain ways.

長(zhǎng)話短說，在幾個(gè)月中，詹姆士和我一道解決了他所面臨的一些問題（很幸運(yùn)的是，我們有一段時(shí)間很友好，也能坦誠(chéng)相待）。我們發(fā)現(xiàn)，盡管他在此期間吸取了一些教訓(xùn)，但職務(wù)所帶來的權(quán)力讓他失去了對(duì)很多事物的辨識(shí)能力，尤其是對(duì)他自己和他在工作中的關(guān)系。總的來說，他的意識(shí)中缺失了兩大關(guān)鍵情商因素——自我意識(shí)和同理心。

Long story short, over some months, James and I worked through some of the issues he was facing (luckily we’d been friendly for a while and could talk honestly). What we discovered was that despite all he’d learned along the way, the power of the role had blinded him to a great many things, particularly about himself and his relationships at work. In essence, two key emotional intelligence competencies, self-awareness and empathy, had disappeared from his tool kit.

自那之后，我一直在研究CEO們和其他高管如何應(yīng)對(duì)權(quán)力。在我看來，像詹姆士這樣的高管并非個(gè)例，而是有很多。

Since then, I’ve made it a point to attend carefully to how CEOs and other top executives deal with power —?or not. And, it seems to me, what happened to James is not unique. It happens a lot!

為什么？原因是多方面的。首先，權(quán)力會(huì)讓人墮落，包括我們的判斷。第二，人們之所以區(qū)別對(duì)待是因?yàn)槲覀冇袡?quán)力。有時(shí)候，人們會(huì)和高管走得很近，例如詹姆士的案例。有時(shí)候，人們會(huì)對(duì)高管恨之入骨。不管怎么樣，高管們很容易深陷其中，并被甜言蜜語(yǔ)沖昏頭腦。

Why? There are several reasons. First,?power really does corrupt?us, including our judgment. Second, people treat us differently if we are powerful. Sometimes, as with?James, they love us more. Sometimes they hate us more. Either way, it’s easy to get caught up in and believe the hype.

最后，很多人在升任高管之前并未進(jìn)行過多的個(gè)人反思或缺乏成長(zhǎng)過程。盡管高管們的情商在這一過程中似乎有所長(zhǎng)進(jìn)，但通常都是表面上的。

Finally, a lot of people get to the top without doing a lot of personal introspection or growth. While they seem to have learned emotional intelligence along the way, it’s often fairly superficial.

例如，他們可能學(xué)會(huì)了如何管理人際關(guān)系，但是他們并未能完全掌握如何感同身受或完全、準(zhǔn)確地洞悉他人的想法。他們可能有能力去解讀員工的動(dòng)機(jī)和需求，但僅限于用于完成特定的工作。當(dāng)涉及自我管理時(shí)，很多高管學(xué)會(huì)了管理外在的情緒表達(dá)，但并不知道如何處理內(nèi)在的情緒，例如不安或他們對(duì)權(quán)力和威望的感受。我發(fā)現(xiàn)，高管之間最大的差距在于自我意識(shí)。部分原因在于，自我反思與經(jīng)商沒有關(guān)聯(lián)，人們認(rèn)為它是不必要的。

For example, they may have learned how to manage relationships, but they never truly learned to empathize or read people fully or accurately. They may be able to decipher motives and needs, but only enough to get things done. When it comes to self-management, a lot of leaders learn to manage the outward expression of emotion but don’t have a clue about how to deal with deep-seated emotions such as insecurity or how they feel about power and authority. As for self-awareness, that’s where I see the biggest gap. This is partly because personal reflection has never been something we?do?in business; it just hasn’t been deemed necessary.

因此，大多數(shù)機(jī)構(gòu)都會(huì)鼓勵(lì)人們自省，并發(fā)現(xiàn)不足，然后加以彌補(bǔ)。這倒沒什么問題，但一旦人們被職務(wù)權(quán)力蒙蔽了雙眼，這種自我意識(shí)就有點(diǎn)捉襟見肘了。

So in most organizations we are encouraged to examine ourselves to find weaknesses and fix them. This is fine, but it’s not the kind of self-awareness you need if you are going to be dealing with situations where you,?and everyone else, can be blinded by the power of your role.

未來的CEO們應(yīng)如何準(zhǔn)備，才能更好地應(yīng)對(duì)職場(chǎng)員工對(duì)權(quán)力的各種復(fù)雜態(tài)度？以下是我所學(xué)到的東西：

What can prospective CEOs do to be better prepared to deal with our complicated and complex human responses to power in the workplace? Here’s what I’ve learned:

在沒有個(gè)人成長(zhǎng)的前提下，真正的職業(yè)成長(zhǎng)是不現(xiàn)實(shí)的。為了完全掌握如何成為一個(gè)更稱職的領(lǐng)導(dǎo)者，以及如何更好地應(yīng)對(duì)權(quán)力問題，人們必須自知自覺。一開始，人們可以問自己以下問題：

True professional growth without personal growth is impossible. In order to truly learn to be a better leader, and to be better able to deal with power dynamics, you’ve got to figure yourself out. To start, ask yourself a few questions:

你對(duì)權(quán)力有什么感受？你如何應(yīng)對(duì)你的上司或那些能夠制定影響你生活的決策的權(quán)威人士，例如你的老板？你對(duì)權(quán)力和權(quán)威人士的態(tài)度源自于哪里？（是的，你可能需要考慮與他人的關(guān)系，例如你的父親、母親和其他在你童年扮演著重要角色的人。）

How do you feel about power? How do you react to people — like your boss — who have power over you or who have authority and can make decisions that affect your life? Where do you think your reactions to power and authority originated? (Yes, you probably will need to think about relationships with people such as?your father, mother, and others who were instrumental in your childhood.)

你對(duì)權(quán)力所帶來的事物有何感受，例如金錢、車輛、房子和假期？你會(huì)按照這些標(biāo)準(zhǔn)來衡量你自己?jiǎn)?？?dāng)你達(dá)到這一標(biāo)準(zhǔn)后會(huì)有什么樣的感受？你如何對(duì)待達(dá)不到標(biāo)準(zhǔn)的人？當(dāng)你自認(rèn)為沒有達(dá)標(biāo)的時(shí)候，你有何感受？你會(huì)如何應(yīng)對(duì)這些感受？例如，你是否會(huì)自己承受，然后責(zé)備自己？還是對(duì)外宣泄？

How do you feel about the trappings of power, things like money, cars, homes, vacations? Do you measure yourself with these yardsticks? How do you feel when you “measure up”? How do you treat people who don’t measure up? How do you feel when you think you are falling short? What do you do with those feelings? For example, do you turn inward and blame yourself? Or do you lash out?

對(duì)于你來說，哪些東西比權(quán)力更重要？家庭、健康、福祉、工作和生活的幸福感，或道德？你的回答將明確揭示自己真正的人生價(jià)值觀。在意識(shí)到這一點(diǎn)之后，讓你的價(jià)值觀引導(dǎo)你做出選擇，此舉將對(duì)日后工作行為和思想的養(yǎng)成發(fā)揮重要的作用。

What is more important to you than power? Is it family, health, well-being,?happiness at work?and in life, ethics? Your answers will give you a clear indication of what you truly value in life. Being aware of this and letting your values guide your choices will go a long way toward helping you navigate your behaviors and thoughts at work.

在過去20年中，大多數(shù)高管都意識(shí)到，情商是其成功的關(guān)鍵。然而，人們必須意識(shí)到，情商的培養(yǎng)是一個(gè)畢生的工作，而不是一種練習(xí)，我們還有很長(zhǎng)的路要走。對(duì)于那些掌控著他人職業(yè)和生活的高管和CEO們來說，這是一種責(zé)任。

Over the past twenty years, most leaders have come to accept that?emotional intelligence?is key to their success. But we’ve still got a long way to go before we realize that developing EQ is a lifelong quest, not an exercise. And for senior leaders and CEOs, who hold people’s careers?and livelihoods in their hands, it’s a responsibility.

關(guān)鍵詞：領(lǐng)導(dǎo)力

安妮·麥基 | 文

安妮·麥基是賓夕法尼亞大學(xué)高級(jí)研究員，也是PennCLO高管博士項(xiàng)目的主任。

時(shí)青靖 | 編輯