正文翻譯

Have your neighbors ever called the cops on you for something ridiculous?

你家鄰居有沒有因一些愚蠢荒謬的事報(bào)警舉報(bào)過你？

評(píng)論翻譯

<1> Sandy Mau
It was the summer of 2008. I was in bed, asleep, when I heard insistent knocking on our front door. I slogged downstairs to open the door, and found two police cars outside. Two police officers said that a neighbor had phoned in a break in at my house, and the police asked if I knew a “Brad,” which was the name of my 18 year old daughter’s boyfriend. I said that I knew him and looked around for him. Then, I discovered that the police had him in the front of the house. He looked scared to death. I told Brad to come in the house.

那是2008年夏。當(dāng)時(shí)我還擱兒床上睡覺呢，突然聽到前門傳來一陣急促的敲門聲。我睡眼惺忪地慢慢走下樓開門，然后發(fā)現(xiàn)門外停了兩輛警車。那兩名警察說，我一鄰居報(bào)警稱有人闖入我家，問我認(rèn)不認(rèn)識(shí)一個(gè)叫“布拉德”的人，我18歲女兒的男朋友就叫這名。我說我認(rèn)識(shí)他，環(huán)顧四周尋找他的身影。然后我發(fā)現(xiàn)警察把他拘在我家前面。他一臉嚇壞了的樣子。我就叫布拉德進(jìn)屋來。

The police were unsure what to do and stood arguing on my porch. One officer said that I had to sign an affidavit, saying that I knew Brad. The other said that I was the homeowner and didn’t have to sign anything.

這下警察他們不知道接下來該做什么了，兩人就站在我家門廊上吵了起來。一位警官說我必須簽署份書面陳述，表明我認(rèn)識(shí)布拉德。另一位警察則說我就是屋主，我不需要簽署任何東西。

Once the police left, Brad told me that his father had dropped him off earlier in the morning and my daughter, who had the flu, had told him that she’d leave a lawn chair outside for him, until she had gotten up, not letting me know. While Brad was sitting in the backyard, listening to the birds, our neighbor had come out and took a real hard look at him. Shortly after that the police confronted Brad in our backyard. He’d encountered the police before, and knew to move slowly and tell the police what he was doing before he made a move.

警察一走，布拉德就告訴我說，他爸今早早些時(shí)候把他送到了這里，而我那得了流感的女兒告訴他說，她會(huì)在外面留把躺椅給他讓他等她起床，但沒告訴我這事。所以當(dāng)布拉德坐在我家后院聽著鳥鳴靜等時(shí)，我家鄰居出來過一次，冷眼認(rèn)真看了他一眼。隨后不久，警察就在我們家后院與布拉德對(duì)峙了。他以前碰到過警察，知道舉止不能突兀要慢，而且在行動(dòng)之前要提前告知警察。

Edit: Thank you for all the upvotes, I had no idea that this would resonate with so many people. My neighbor is male and still lives near us.

另注：謝謝大家的點(diǎn)贊，我完全沒想到這會(huì)引起那么多人的共鳴。我的鄰居是名男性，現(xiàn)在仍住在我家附近。

<2> Shannon Nealey
All the time.

一直有的事。

Now, there was no way that I was going to give my address to some random person, and I didn’t feel the need to prove my residency to her, so I ignored her. She threatened to call the police, and I just shrugged. So, she called them.

呵，我當(dāng)然不可能隨便告訴個(gè)陌生人我家在哪啊，而且我不覺得自己有必要向她證明我的住戶資格，所以我無視了她。她威脅說要報(bào)警，對(duì)此我聳肩表示你隨意。然后，她就打電話報(bào)了警。

The police arrived, and she ran to meet them, screaming that I didn’t belong there and I had to leave.
I didn’t budge

警察一到，她就沖到他們面前，尖聲喊說我不屬于這兒，我必須離開啥的。對(duì)此，我絲毫沒有讓步。

The pool is right next to the rental office. The property manager saw the police and immediately came out to find out what was going on. The white resident was screeching that I was trespassing and refused to leave. At this point, the property manager confirmed that I do, in fact, live there.

游泳池就在物業(yè)辦公室旁。物業(yè)經(jīng)理看到警察來了，馬上跑出來看發(fā)生了啥事。那個(gè)白人居民還擱那兒尖聲喊說我非法闖入，拒絕離開啥的。這時(shí)，物業(yè)經(jīng)理便向他們證實(shí)，我確實(shí)住在這里。

One of the officers questioned me. “Why didn’t you just say that you lived here? It could have saved us a lot of time.”

其中一名警察就問我：“你剛為什么不說你住這兒?。窟@樣我們就不用白跑了一趟不是。”

Some time later, I was sitting in front of my apartment, in my car, which was in my assigned space. The cops arrived and demanded that I got out of the car and that they received a report of a “suspicious person” in the area. They asked for permission to search my car, and I refused. Of course, they came back with the, “If you don’t have anything to hide, you have nothing to worry about,” line, and I simply asserted my rights, which didn’t go over very well.

過了一段時(shí)間，我當(dāng)時(shí)把車停在公寓前我的專屬停車位上，然后人坐在車?yán)飦碇?。警察突然來了，要求我下車，說他們接到舉報(bào)說該地區(qū)有個(gè)“可疑人員”。他們要求搜查我的車，我沒讓。對(duì)此，他們當(dāng)然搬出了，“如果你沒藏著掖著什么，你就沒什么好擔(dān)心的”這句話，我則簡單陳述了下我所有的權(quán)利，但這做法顯然并無益處。

I placed a call to the property manager, who came over immediately. He confirmed that I was a resident and that I was parked in the space assigned to my unit. I simply grabbed my things out of my car and went upstairs to my apartment.

我給物業(yè)經(jīng)理打了個(gè)電話，他很快就趕來了。向警察證明了我是這里的住戶，且我車停在了分配給我的停車位上。然后我就拿上自己的東西下了車，上樓回自個(gè)兒公寓去了。

A few months later, the cops came back out because they received a call of a burglary in progress. Someone spotted me going in and out of my apartment and found that to be suspicious. Yeah, because all burglars break in and leave groceries, right?

幾個(gè)月后，警察又來了，說他們接到了一起舉報(bào)入室行竊中的電話。稱有人看見我進(jìn)進(jìn)出出我的公寓，覺得我形跡很可疑。是啊，因?yàn)槿煜滤械男⊥刀际侨胧液笸荡称冯s貨就走了，對(duì)吧？

The property manager had to come out yet again and confirm that I was a resident and lived in the unit in question. I was just done at this point. I think that the property manager knew who it was; about two weeks later, I saw the moving truck near my building and one of the residents moved out.
Once they were gone, I had no more problems after that.

物業(yè)經(jīng)理只能又趕過來，向警察證明我是這里的住戶，就住在那個(gè)說有小偷行竊的公寓單元房里。我那時(shí)覺得真是受夠這種事了。我覺得物業(yè)經(jīng)理也知道這一切都是誰搞的鬼；大概兩周后，我在公寓大樓旁看見輛搬家卡車，有戶住戶要搬出去了。自那之后，我就再?zèng)]遇到過這類事了。

<4> Sean Sutton
Yes. I’m a painting contractor. I save 5 gallon paint buckets, and then let them dry out on their own. Since paint is latex it just peels right out, which is much better than washing wet paint out of a bucket in my opinion. This past summer I removed approx 50 buckets from my garage and set them in my back yard to expedite the drying out process. My neighbor called the cops in regards to this. The joke was on him however, the cop that came to my house asked if I’d be willing to sell any of them. He came over that night and gave me $40 for 30 buckets. Since they sell for $3–4 a piece at the big box store, he saved money and I had some cash to take my wife out to dinner that night. Thanks neighbor!

有過。我是名油漆承包商。那個(gè)時(shí)候我存了些5加侖的油漆桶，就放那兒讓它們干。因?yàn)槭侨槟z漆，所以干掉后漆很容易就能去掉了，在我看來這比用水洗掉殘漆省事多了。剛剛過去的這個(gè)夏天，我從車庫里搬了大約50個(gè)桶到我家后院里以加快晾干速度。然后我的鄰居就因?yàn)檫@報(bào)警舉報(bào)了我。但很可惜，他算盤是完全打錯(cuò)了，來我家的警察問我愿不愿意把桶賣給他。那晚，他花40美元從我這兒買了30個(gè)桶。因?yàn)橛推嵬霸赽ig box 商場里一個(gè)賣3-4美元，所以結(jié)果是他省了錢，我也有了些小錢那晚帶妻子去外面吃晚餐。所以，謝啦，鄰居！