正文翻譯

For some Asians, showing physical affection and love doesn’t come easy.

對一些亞洲人來說，用身體上的行為來表達(dá)感情和愛并不容易。

For some stereotypical Asians, expressing intimacy like holding hands, hugging and kissing feels hard and is both unnatural and uneasy.

對于一些刻板的亞洲人來說，表達(dá)親密關(guān)系，如牽手、擁抱和親吻等感覺很困難，既不自然又不舒服。

Different people show love differently. Some people show love through open physical affection. Others don’t openly show love and show love through non-physical affection instead, which is what many Asians prefer.

不同的人表達(dá)愛的方式不同。有些人公開用身體上的行為來表達(dá)愛意。另一些人則不喜歡公開用身體上的行為表達(dá)愛意，而是通過非身體上的情感來表達(dá)愛意，這是許多亞洲人更喜歡的方式。

All throughout school in Malaysia and Singapore, my Chinese-Malaysian parents wagged the finger at dating and romantic escapades. Physical contact with any classmate whom I fancied was frowned upon.

在馬來西亞和新加坡上學(xué)的整個(gè)過程中，我的華裔馬來西亞父母總是對我的約會(huì)和浪漫行為指指點(diǎn)點(diǎn)。和任何我喜歡的同學(xué)有身體上的接觸都是不被允許的。

My parents themselves didn’t show physical affection openly between each other. My parents also didn’t say ‘I love you’ to me or hugged me as a kid.

我的父母彼此之間并沒有公開用身體上的行為來表達(dá)感情。我的父母也沒有對我說過“我愛你”，也沒有在我小的時(shí)候擁抱過我。
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When it comes to expressing love by the means of touch, at times we hold back because of what we’ve always known.

當(dāng)我們用相互觸碰來表達(dá)愛的時(shí)候，有時(shí)我們會(huì)因?yàn)槲覀円恢倍贾赖脑蚨丝s。

For some of us of Asian heritage, our conservative upbringing is one reason why we’re wary of physical romantic gestures. Our parents may have never advocated touchy-feely attitudes as something to be proud of. We may have grown up following a faith denouncing men/women/other genders as obxts of affection. Our religion might stress pre-marital sex and hence physical affection is taboo.

對于一些亞洲人來說，保守的成長環(huán)境是我們對身體上的浪漫舉動(dòng)持謹(jǐn)慎態(tài)度的原因之一。我們的父母可能從來不認(rèn)為這種行為是值得驕傲的。我們可能在成長過程中遵循著一種信仰，這種信仰不提倡把其他男性/女性/其他性別當(dāng)做是情感的對象。這種信仰可能不允許婚前性行為，因?yàn)樯眢w上的感情是禁忌。
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In Malaysia, collectivistic cultures are championed in the Muslim-majority country with codes of conduct around public displays of affection. For example, Muslim girls have been threatened with arrest after hugging K-pop band members.

在馬來西亞這個(gè)穆斯林占多數(shù)的國家，集體主義文化受到國家的支持，在公共場合表達(dá)愛意時(shí)有著特定的行為準(zhǔn)則。例如，穆斯林女孩因擁抱韓國流行樂隊(duì)的成員而被逮捕。

Also, historically Confucianism patriarchy was advocated since the Eastern Zhou Dynasty. During the revolutionary Mao era, Chinese men and women were comrades and wore unisex army suits. They were not supposed to be lovers; intimacy was seen as a duty for procreation.

此外，在中國的歷史上，儒教的父權(quán)思想自東周以來一直被提倡。在中國的革命時(shí)代，中國的男女們都是同志，穿著男女通用的軍裝。他們不提倡戀人關(guān)系，雙方形成親密關(guān)系是為了履行繁衍后代的責(zé)任。

Accordingly another reason some Asians don’t openly show love is because showing physical affection feels embarrassing and foreign. It’s something we’re shy about, unfamiliar with or we don’t see as a respectful move towards the one we fancy.

此外，一些亞洲人不公開表達(dá)愛意的另一個(gè)原因是，用身體上的行為來愛意會(huì)讓人感到尷尬。這是人們感到害羞的、不熟悉的事情，或者人們認(rèn)為這不是對所喜歡的人的一種尊重。

Some Asians perceive love as acts of service. To many with the typical Asian mindset, love is more than hands all over each other. Love is practical and something that you willingly give your time for someone.

一些亞洲人認(rèn)為愛是一種服務(wù)行為。對于許多典型的亞洲人來說，愛不僅僅是身體上的相互碰觸。愛是更實(shí)際的東西，是你心甘情愿地為某人付出。

For instance, for many Asians love is putting food on the table and building for family. Many Japanese men work round the clock for a living to provide for their family and see their loved ones once in a while. One becomes familiarly acquainted with physical distance in the realm of love, and that is love.

例如，對許多亞洲人來說，愛是把食物放在桌子上，是為家人提供住所。許多日本男人為了生計(jì)夜以繼日地工作，以養(yǎng)活他們的家庭，只能偶爾見見他們所愛的人。雙方在愛的領(lǐng)域里習(xí)慣了身體上的距離，但他們認(rèn)為那就是愛。
In this competitive world where many hardworking Asians have countless goals in life, romance and showing romantic intimacy might get put on hold as we better ourselves. These days many Asian women or ‘shengnu’ (剩女) women are embracing the single life, living independently, embracing their sexuality and doing without physical affection as they live the lives they want to live.
在這個(gè)競爭激烈的世界里，許多努力工作的亞洲人在生活中有無數(shù)的目標(biāo)，一些表現(xiàn)浪漫的行為可能會(huì)被擱置，因?yàn)樗麄円ゾo時(shí)間提升自己。如今，許多亞洲女性(或稱“剩女”)開始接受獨(dú)立的單身生活，淡化自己的性取向，過著自己想要的生活，而不需要身體上的感情。
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That said, matchmaking is still common in Asia and some Asians don’t mind being set up with potential partners this way. If You Are The One is China’s top dating show and it sees male professionals facing off with single women. They women decide if the male bachelors are ‘date-worthy’ based on a series of interviews and talent stages.

盡管如此，相親在亞洲仍然很普遍，一些亞洲人并不介意以這種方式與潛在的伴侶建立聯(lián)系。非誠勿擾是中國最受歡迎的相親節(jié)目，在節(jié)目中，男嘉賓和單身女性們展開了一場激烈的對決。她們會(huì)根據(jù)一系列的面試和男嘉賓的才藝秀來判斷他是否“值得約會(huì)”。

Therefore, in Chinese culture courtship and playing hard to get is quite the norm before two parties get physical. At times the courtship phase is also a way to show someone you care about them and love them.

因此，在中國文化中，在雙方發(fā)生身體接觸之前，求愛和欲擒故縱是相當(dāng)正常的。有時(shí)候，求愛階段的表現(xiàn)也是一種表達(dá)你關(guān)心對方、愛對方的方式。

Quite commonly a Chinese person might have a set of standards they look for in a potential partner. If these are stickler of standards, it might be a while before one is comfortable showing physical intimacy. As philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche said on loving someone:

中國人在尋找潛在伴侶時(shí)通常會(huì)有一套標(biāo)準(zhǔn)。如果這些標(biāo)準(zhǔn)都被嚴(yán)格的遵循，那么雙方可能需要一段時(shí)間才能大方地表現(xiàn)出身體上的親密。正如哲學(xué)家尼采在看待如何愛一個(gè)人時(shí)所說:

‘There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.’

“愛情總有些瘋狂。但瘋狂也總有它的原因?！?br>Moreover, while the Chinese phrase ‘wǒ ài nǐ’ (我愛你) is translated as ‘I love you’, it is a phrase of formality and commitment. Thus it is not generally heard every day or used after a first date. Also in high context cultures such as Chinese cultures, people don’t say thing specifically but derive meaning and meanings of words from context.
此外，在中文里，“我愛你”是一個(gè)正式表達(dá)出自己的承諾的句子。因此，你一般不會(huì)在每天都聽到這句話，也不會(huì)在第一次約會(huì)之后就使用這句話。同樣，在中國文化等高語境文化中，人們不會(huì)明確地說出某件事，而是需要對方從語境中揣度出說話者的真實(shí)的想法。

Not every single Asian is hesitant expressing physical love. Some are all for physical intimacy and public displays of affection at any time. Couples of Asian heritage holding hands are a common sight here in Melbourne. How each individual warms to one-on-one touch ultimately depends on what they believe in, the company they keep and their personalities.

并不是每個(gè)亞洲人都對用身體上的行為來表達(dá)愛猶豫不決。有些人也喜歡身體上的親密行為和在任何時(shí)候公開表達(dá)愛意。在墨爾本，有亞洲血統(tǒng)的夫婦手拉手是很常見的。每個(gè)人是否愿意和對方發(fā)生身體上的接觸最終取決于他們的信仰，他們的同伴和他們的個(gè)性。

Notably, physical affection can either be a manifestation of lust or a manifestation of true love. Showing affection can be a calculated move or an unconscious move. Either way, they tend to be moments we remember.

值得注意的是，用身體上的行為來表達(dá)愛既可以是欲望的表現(xiàn)，也可以是真愛的表現(xiàn)。表達(dá)愛意可以是精心策劃的行為，也可以是無意識(shí)的行為。不管怎樣，它們往往是我們值得回味的時(shí)刻。

Physical affection is never the means to an end to any relationship in any culture. At the end of the day many of us long to connect with others not just physically but emotionally, as author Tahereh Mafi wrote:

在任何文化中，身體上的觸碰都不是雙方關(guān)系的最終目標(biāo)。在一天結(jié)束的時(shí)候，我們中的許多人都渴望與喜歡的人建立聯(lián)系，不僅僅是身體上的，更是情感上的，正如作家塔赫里.馬菲所寫的:

‘All I ever wanted was to reach out and touch another human being not just with my hands but with my heart.’

“我一直想要的就是伸出手去觸摸另一個(gè)人，不僅僅是用我的手，還要用我的心?！?/p>

We might remember moments of affection because we believe these moments could very well bring us closer to someone for the reasons we hope.

我們可能會(huì)記住這些表達(dá)感情的時(shí)刻，因?yàn)槲覀兿嘈胚@些時(shí)刻可以很好地拉近我們與某人的距離，而這正是我們所希望的。

For some of us, maybe we aren’t keen on physical affection because we’re shy, private and perceive love in other ways. Or maybe we’re inclined to wait because every bit of affection, given and received, is something special to us.

對于我們中的一些人來說，也許我們不熱衷于用身體上的行為來表達(dá)愛，因?yàn)槲覀兒芎π?，并試圖以其他方式來感知愛意。或者有的人更傾向于等待，因?yàn)槊恳稽c(diǎn)愛，無論是付出還是接受，對我們來說都是彌足珍貴的。

Do you show physical affection to the one you love?

你會(huì)用身體上的行為來對你愛的人表達(dá)愛意嗎?