How to navigate workplace awkwardness

如何應(yīng)對職場尷尬

The meeting has been going on for almost an hour already, but the end is now in sight. The vast majority of attendees have already got the cursor lined up over the “l(fā)eave” button; freedom, or at least a five-minute break, is a click away. And then whoever is chairing asks a simple but terrible question: “Does anyone have anything they want to add?”?

會議已經(jīng)開了將近一個小時了，終于要結(jié)束了。絕大多數(shù)與會者已經(jīng)將光標(biāo)對準(zhǔn)了“離開會以”按鈕；點擊鼠標(biāo)即可獲得自由，或者至少5分鐘的休息時間。然后主持會議的人會問一個簡單卻可怕的問題:“有人有什么想補充的嗎?”

Cue almost unendurable suspense. If the chairman’s voice is the next you hear, it’s all over bar the ritual waving at the camera. But if any of your other treasured colleagues speak up, your plan for a nice cup of tea is destroyed. The silence stretches for a period of seconds. Almost safe. “There is just one thing,” says Lauren from procurement, oblivious to the tiny dreams she has dashed and the fleeting hatred she has aroused.?

【1】fleeting 短暫的；轉(zhuǎn)瞬即逝的

這暗示了幾乎難以忍受的焦慮。如果你接下來聽到的是董事長的聲音，那么除了向鏡頭揮手再見的儀式之外，一切都結(jié)束了。但是如果你的其他“珍愛的”同事大膽發(fā)言，你的一杯好茶的計劃就泡湯了。沉默持續(xù)了幾秒鐘。幾乎是安全的?！爸挥幸患拢辈少彶康膭趥愓f，她完全沒有意識到自己已經(jīng)破碎的那些微小夢想，以及她引發(fā)的那些短暫的仇恨。

For most people, the workplace is not a stage for high drama. Careers are punctuated by only a few defining moments, from the interview for the top job to the m&a deal that upends an industry. Although some companies and departments are marked by bullying and burnout, more fortunate employees experience suspense through a series of micro-dramas. Some small moments of great tension happen often enough that they are almost tropes.?

【1】punctuate 不時打斷；不時中斷

對大多數(shù)人來說，工作場所并不是充滿戲劇性的舞臺。職業(yè)生涯中只有幾個決定性的時刻，從最高職位的面試到顛覆一個行業(yè)的并購交易。雖然一些公司和部門以欺凌和倦怠為標(biāo)志，但更幸運的員工通過一系列“微型戲劇”感受到焦慮。一些極度緊張的小時刻經(jīng)常發(fā)生，以至于它們幾乎成了比喻。

The pandemic has created many of these moments. A big Zoom call is under way, with lots of people on the line. Everyone is muted, save the speaker and one unfortunate soul, who has managed to unmute themselves. A lot of rustling can be heard. A family conversation is going on, a small slice of domestic life being broadcast inadvertently into the workplace. It’s almost too much bear. What if they have a blazing row? What if someone says out loud what everyone is thinking about the speaker? The horror of mild public embarrassment looms, and it is stomach-churning. “Jesus, this is unbearable,” you say to yourself, and realise you are also unmuted.

【1】inadvertently 不經(jīng)意地

大流行創(chuàng)造了許多這樣的時刻。一個大型的Zoom電話正在進行中，有很多人在線上。每個人都處于靜音狀態(tài)，除了演講者和一個不幸的靈魂，他們設(shè)法解除靜音狀態(tài)。（你）可以聽到很多沙沙聲。一場家庭對話正在進行，家庭生活的一小部分在不經(jīng)意間被傳播到了工作場所。要承受的太多了。如果他們大吵一架怎么辦？如果有人大聲說出每個人對演講者的看法怎么辦？輕微的公眾尷尬的恐怖隱約出現(xiàn)，令人反胃?！疤炷模@太難以忍受了，”你對自己說，然后意識到自己沒靜音。

Email can also evoke emotion. There is panic, after you send a message to the wrong person and frantically scramble to hit “undo” or “delete”. There is dread, when an email arrives from the person who is reliably wrong about everything and you know that opening it will mean conflict and wasted time. And there is mortification on behalf of other people, when an all-staff missive from the chief executive goes out about a new initiative and someone hits “reply all” on their message oleaginously congratulating the boss on their utter brilliance.

【1】mortification 窘迫；羞愧

電子郵件同樣能喚起這樣的情緒。當(dāng)你把信息發(fā)給了錯誤的人，并瘋狂地亂按“撤銷”或“刪除”鍵時，你會感到恐慌。當(dāng)一封電子郵件從一個完全誤解所有事情的人而來，你知道打開它將意味著沖突和浪費時間時，你會感到恐懼。當(dāng)首席執(zhí)行官向全體員工發(fā)送一封有關(guān)一項新舉措的信函時，有人點擊了郵件上的“回復(fù)全部”，并“油嘴滑舌”地祝賀老板的卓越才華，其他人也會感到羞愧。

Presenting is a low-stakes, high-tension act. “I’m going to share my screen,” you say, and press the button that promises just that. The presenting icon circles and circles, and you wonder if it will ever stop. Then you pick the wrong tab to share and everyone can see your calendar, including the entries marked “Job interview”. Then you share your whole screen and suddenly infinite, ever-smaller versions of yourself appear. It is a similar story in the real world. The clicker doesn’t work, so you hopefully press it a few times and the deck suddenly jumps forward to the slide that gives away your unexpected strategy recommendation.

演講是一種低風(fēng)險、高壓力的行為?！拔乙蚕砦业钠聊?，”你說，然后按下共享的按鈕。呈現(xiàn)在眼前的圖標(biāo)一圈又一圈，你想知道它是否會停止。然后你選擇了一個錯誤的標(biāo)簽來分享，每個人都可以看到你的日歷，其中包括標(biāo)有“工作面試”的條目。然后你分享你的整個屏幕，突然間無限縮小的你出現(xiàn)了。在現(xiàn)實世界中也是類似的情況。點擊器不起作用了，所以你希望多按幾次，然后就會突然跳到幻燈片頁面上，從而透露你那意想不到的策略建議。

The offline world offers other moments of diminutive drama. Entering and exiting meetings while they are still going on is stressless in a virtual environment; in the real world, you have to negotiate your way past colleagues and whisper apologies.

在線下世界中，還有其他的小戲劇時刻。在虛擬環(huán)境中，在會議還在進行的時候進出會議是沒有壓力的；在現(xiàn)實世界中，你必須與“擋道”的同事協(xié)商并低聲道歉。

The working lunch is not a problem online: camera off, microphone off, nosh away. In person you must choose items that can be eaten quickly, efficiently and silently. Eating crisps during an in-person presentation sounds like setting off a firework display in a monastery. Taking a bite of some sandwiches risks a carnivorous version of the magician’s handkerchief trick, as you find yourself slowly pulling an entire side of beef into your mouth in one go.

在線上，工作午餐不是問題：關(guān)掉攝像頭、麥克風(fēng)、吃東西。你必須親自選擇能夠快速、高效、安靜地吃下去的食物。在現(xiàn)場演示時吃薯片聽起來就像在寺廟里放煙花。咬一口三明治，你會發(fā)現(xiàn)自己一下子就把一整面牛肉塞進嘴里，就像魔術(shù)師用手帕表演的食肉性魔術(shù)一樣。

If you do not recognise any of these miniature dramas, one possible explanation is that you are already the boss: life is generally a lot less tense if you have ludicrous amounts of self-belief and get to set the rules. But for many employees, as well as almost everyone in Britain, this is what suspense looks like, not remotely dangerous but teeming with the possibility of awkwardness.

如果你沒有意識到這些微型“戲劇”，一種可能的解釋是，你已經(jīng)是老板了:如果你有難以置信的自信，并且能夠制定規(guī)則，生活通常會輕松得多。但對于許多員工，以及幾乎所有英國人來說，這就是“焦慮”的樣子，一點也不危險，但卻充滿了尷尬的可能性。

If you and someone else have started making a point at the same time, do you keep going and hope that he gives way? What conversation can you start and finish in the time it takes for the lift to go five floors? And so on. The workplace can be a place of planet-changing ideas and epic rivalries. Day by day, it is a theatre of mild agitation.

如果你和別人同時開始提出一個觀點，你會繼續(xù)下去，然后希望他讓步嗎？什么對話能在電梯走到五層的時間內(nèi)開始并結(jié)束？諸如此類。工作場所可能是一個充滿改變地球的想法和史詩般的競爭的地方。日復(fù)一日，這是一個充滿輕微“焦慮”的劇院。