Task?Four

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The text (245 words) for this task is reproduced on the opposite page. It was written by a learner in an?upper-intermediate?(CEFR level B2)?class?in response to?the?following task:

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Write an essay for the class magazine describing a person you particularly admire.?Say?why you particularly admire them.

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a.?Identify three key strengths and three key weaknesses of the text. Provide an example of each?strength?and?each weakness.

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Your?answer?should?focus?on?some?or?all?of?the?areas?listed?below:

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·?Organisation

·?Accuracy?of?grammar

·?Accuracy?and?range?of?lexis

·?Punctuation

·?Task?achievement

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Write?your?answers?in?your?answer?booklet.

7.1?Guideline?Answer

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·?Key strengths and weaknesses?Key?strengths

·?Task?achievement

The learner achieves the task fully by describing a person he admires (his mother) and saying?why?he?admires?her

description he says where she was born / what her background was / describes how?she?managed?to?get?to?university?/?what?she?did?once?she?had?graduated

(NB: candidates must mention a minimum of one of these)?AND

reasons he admires her because she has reached all her goals / she has strong principles / a?good sense of humour / a positive attitude/is hardworking / she has fought against troubles?(NB:?candidates?have?to?mention?a?minimum?of?one?of?these)

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·?Organisation

The?information?is?in?a?logical?order

he describes his mother's background, her life from past to now and then he gives his?reasons?for?admiring?her?(NB:?candidates?have?to?mention?a?minimum?of?two?topics)

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·?Accuracy?and?range?of?lexis

Some?accurate?and?sophisticated?phrases?/?collocations?are?used

very successful woman, reached all her goals, very strong principles, good sense of?humour,?a?positive?attitude

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·?Accuracy?of?grammar

Some?accurate?use?of?complex?sentences

After she spent some time teaching ... she had a great offer, The person that I?particularly?admire,?is my mother.

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·?Accuracy?of?grammar

Accurate?use?of?present?perfect?OR?present?perfect?and?past?simple

When my mother finished ..., he wanted to study ... but her parent didn’t have..., when?she?found?the?job?she?started?her?degree.?...?she?had?one?of?the?best?marks...,?she?got?Economics

degree ..., After she spent time teaching in the University she had a great offer, ... she has?reached?all?her?goals,?...?and?she?has?always?followed

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Key?weaknesses

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·?Organisation

Poor?paragraphing?/?one-sentence?paragraphs

paragraphs could be between lines 1-5 (background); lines 6-9 or 6-18 (how she got to?university & her subsequent career); lines 9-18 (her subsequent career); lines 19-25 (reasons?why he admires her) NB: candidates have to mention a minimum of one possible paragraph which?was?wrong?or?a?corrected?version)

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·?Accuracy?of?grammar

Use?of?articles

finished the High School, the University, when she found the job, She never defaulted?in the life, She got Economics degree, great offer of one bank, she is a Manager of one Office?Bank,?she?is?very?successful?woman,?she?has?a?very?strong?principles

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·?Accuracy?of?grammar

Use?of?prepositions

Study?a?degree,?to?pay?the?University,?searching?a?job,?of?her?university,?a?great?offer?of

one?bank

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·?Range?of?lexis

Overuse/repetition?of?after?/?after?that

lines?10,?11,?13,?15

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·?Accuracy?of?grammar

Use?of?past?continuous

Then, we was searching a job, She was studying

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·?Punctuation

Capitalisation?of?ordinary?nouns?and?pronouns

in the North-West of Spain, When my mother finished the High School He wanted to???Study?a?Degree?but.?After?that?She?was?studying,?Now?She?...?Office?Bank,?For?me?She?is

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·?Punctuation

Inaccurate?use/omission?of?commas?OR?use?of?full?stops?instead?of?commas

The person that I particularly admire, is my mother; In this place, the most part of the?people;?Then.?We?was?searching;?Now.?She?is;?incredible?person.?no?because

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