注意銜接詞和同義替換

不管是discuss型還是opinion型，crime都是和goverment相關(guān)的

且沒有什么分話題了

In some countries, the number of shooting massacres is on the rise because many people have guns at home.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

P1

1,Some people argue the reason why the rate of shooting is on the rise is people owning guns.

2,I agree that the shooting rate is rising ,and that is precisely why I argue that there should be strict gun control legislation by the government.

P2

1,The crime rate associates closely to the availability of the guns by criminals.

2,That is to say ,if the crime offenders easily gain access to weapons ,they would be more likely to commit crimes without considering the consequences especially in impulsive moments.

3,By contrast, if there is no gun circulation in the society ,they may have to cool down ,thus ,reducing the likelihood to shoot.

4,Consequently ,the disasters and the blood related would see a decline accordingly .

P3

1,Considering another case :the suicide .

2,Reports show that the suicide rate rises where it is legal for residents to possesses guns.

3,By saying this ,it comes to the point that people’s lives always prioritize in any society by no means.

4,In other words, protecting and saving people’s lives should set first in terms of the governments’ responsibility.

5,That explains why banning guns is called for by citizens in some countries as admittedly, it would bring back the people from killing themselves to a large extent.

P4

In conclusion , as I discussed above ,while some advocates it is their civil right to have guns ,I emphasize the necessity to keep the firearms out of reach not only for the potential criminals and suiciders but for the safety of the majority of people.