THE

DARK

NIGHT WANDERING MANIFESTO?

Good?evening?Lu?Yan,?Liu?Sen,?Little?Tiger,?Good?evening.
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Team?Han,?Yangzi,?Ando,?Lao?Liu,?Jian?Cui?Good?evening,?I?should?send?this?letter?to?you?as?well,?as?your?radio?stations?have?been?with?me?throughout?2022?as?well.
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Good?evening?friends,?as?I?write?this?letter,?I?hope?it?will?be?seen?by?as?many?people?as?possible.
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It?is?perhaps?a?little?strange?to?take?the?liberty?of?sending?you?this?message.
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But?I'm?a?big?listener?of?your?music?and?the?albums?I've?listened?to?most?this?year?are?Survivor's?Club,?North?China?Wave?Revolution?and?Go?Love?Go?Cry?Go?Doubt.?In?a?way,?they?were?both?an?outlet?for?me?to?escape?and?a?summation?of?the?year?I've?had.?I?have?incredibly?mixed?emotions?about?them?and?I'll?probably?never?forget?these?albums?for?the?rest?of?my?life,?just?like?I'll?never?forget?2022,?2021?and?2020?for?the?rest?of?my?life.
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2022,?I?hated?it.?I?was?in?Shanghai?in?March,?experiencing?a?massive?city?closure,?and?actually?my?life?wasn't?affected?by?it?too?much.?Because?I?was?a?student,?a?well-protected?student?in?an?ivory?tower.?I?lived?a?repetitive?life?every?day,?as?I?had?done?for?over?20?years.?Only?the?space?I?was?in,?became?even?smaller.?The?city?seemed?to?swallow?me?up,?the?violence?of?the?system?and?the?landscape?of?the?news?seemed?to?tear?me?apart.?From?then?on,?I?started?reading?Debord's?Society?of?Landscape?and?Baudrillard's?Society?of?Consumption.?The?world?for?me?has?since?become?a?layer?of?'mimesis'?covering?the?world,?and?I?have?never?seemed?so?eager?to?be?free?in?my?life.
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I?know?it's?a?bit?naive,?but?when?you?are?separated?from?the?whole?world,?when?you?lose?your?connection?to?it.?Although?we?could?communicate?online,?we?lost?our?connection?in?a?physical?sense.?I?know?I?have?to?obey?policy,?I?know?I?have?to?keep?the?so-called?greater?good?in?mind,?I?know?I?have?to?be?considerate?of?the?volunteers?who?are?still?working?so?hard.?I?know,?but?I?feel?sadness,?thorns?and?memories?mixed?together.
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I?was?still,?an?immature?student.?The?seeds?of?radicalism?and?madness?have?been?planted?in?my?heart?ever?since.?I?have?held?a?lifelong?animosity?towards?Leviathan?ever?since,?an?animosity?that?is?sharper?than?a?sword?or?axe.?Sealed?control?ended?and?my?weight?went?from?170?pounds?back?to?200?pounds.?This?was?of?course?due?to?my?lack?of?discipline,?but?also?because?the?space?inside?me?had?become?narrow,?and?so?the?fat?ballooned?from?there.
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I?actually?remember?how?I?lost?the?weight?in?2020?because?I?was?a?2020?senior?and?the?stress?of?the?high?school?entrance?exams?made?me?gain?40?pounds?in?one?fell?swoop.?After?the?exams,?I?went?to?a?party?on?the?roof?of?a?building?thrown?by?44KW?because?I?liked?Frogpond.?44KW?doesn't?seem?to?be?around?anymore,?alas.?I'll?never?forget?that?one?night?when?I?hung?out?in?the?venue?from?the?opening?and?danced?non-stop?in?the?common?area,?non-stop.?Even?if?my?moves?weren't?great,?even?if?my?rhythm?wasn't?even?close?to?matching?the?music.
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But?I?kept?dancing,?and?dancing,?and?dancing.?Immersing?myself?completely?in?the?music,?even?if?I?didn't?love?it?that?much.?I?was?just?looking?for?an?outlet?where?I?belonged.?I?remember?that?there?was?a?white?paper?fan?because?I?actually?retreated?after?the?frog?pond?and?the?white?paper?fan,?I?just?couldn't?take?it?anymore?that?day.?I?just?couldn't?take?it?anymore.?I?left?the?door?and?collapsed?inside?the?convenience?store.?Although?I?went?to?see?the?frog?pond,?I?didn't?get?into?the?mood?while?I?was?watching.?By?the?time?I?did,?the?show?was?over.?So?I?stayed?in?a?restless?mood?and?watched?White?Paper?Fan?in?the?first?row.
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I?remember?seeing?Lu?Yan?up?close?for?the?first?time?that?day,?with?his?super?cool?hair?and?super?cool?make-up.?I?remember?him?opening?with?something?variety?related?and?then?I?remember?him?saying?Wuhan?bull!?I?howled?along,?although?my?voice?split.?I?was?in?the?first?row?that?day,?pretending?I?was?rocking?and?pretending?I?was?the?most?rocking?person?in?the?room.?I?felt?like?I?was?breaking?my?neck,?but?it?would?have?been?pointless?to?stand?in?the?front?row?with?a?camera?instead?of?getting?up?and?taking?pictures.
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Since?then,?I've?always?felt?that?performance?is?an?art?within?a?venue,?and?that?both?onstage?and?offstage?are?actually?part?of?the?performance.?Don't?be?a?spectator,?be?part?of?the?performance.?I?put?on?my?fiercest?face?that?day,?on?purpose.?When?you?think?about?it?I?did?look?pretty?mean?at?that?time,?I?had?long?hair?that?I?hadn't?cut?in?a?year.?I?was?wearing?a?T-shirt?fr

om?my?favourite?podcast,?West?Ocean?Sound?(unfortunately,?I?lost?it?in?the?wash?later).?I?still?remember?that?when?the?performance?came?to?a?song?about?qigong,?I?was?holding?hands?with?the?young?lady?in?green?next?to?me.
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I?felt?so?happy?when?I?held?her?hand.?It?wasn't?some?kind?of?hormones?being?released,?it?was?simply?the?feeling?of?how?nice?it?was?to?make?a?connection?with?a?stranger.?I?very?punked?out?in?the?chat?group:?there?is?no?tomorrow?for?us!?There's?only?now!
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I?cherish?that?time.
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Shanghai?has?since?finally?been?unblocked,?and?I?walk?around?the?streets,?but?it?feels?like?nothing?has?changed.?The?cage?seemed?to?have?gone?from?a?tiny?room?to?a?city,?a?country,?a?world,?and?a?universe.?We?seemed?to?be?living?in?something?like?what?Foucault?called?a?'panoramic?prison',?and?I?felt?the?discipline?of?society?on?me.?But,?like?a?rebellious?adolescent,?the?more?I?was?disciplined,?the?more?I?wanted?to?be?free.
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School?started?and?I?had?to?go?back?to?school.?So,?I?went?from?one?statically?managed?area?to?another.?I?often?felt?as?if?I?had,?from?time?to?time,?used?Doraemon's?portal.?I?was?living?in?a?different?city,?in?a?physical?sense,?but?nothing?was?different.?The?rules?were?still?harsh?and?the?people?were?still?cold.?I?went?back?to?school?and?for?three?months?I?never?went?out?again.
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I?knew?I?had?to?obey?the?policy,?I?knew?I?had?to?keep?the?so-called?big?picture?in?mind,?I?knew?I?had?to?be?considerate?of?the?volunteers?who?were?still?working?hard.?I?know,?but?I?felt?sadness,?thorns?and?memories?mixed?together.
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I?remember?that?time,?the?time?just?after?school?started?when?everyone?was?in?their?dorm?rooms?for?internet?classes.?Everyone?was?not?in?the?right?mood?and?everyone?was?not?in?the?best?shape.?But,?luckily,?everyone?would?regulate?themselves?and?every?night,?on?the?playground,?there?was?a?spotlight?on.?We?played?sports,?played?and?held?little?fairs?under?the?lights.?Students,?male?and?female,?held?bonding?events?in?the?playground,?playing?cards,?mahjong?and?werewolf?games.
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Until?one?day,?a?student?was?celebrating?their?birthday?a?little?late?in?the?night.?So?a?passing?counsellor?got?into?a?confrontation?with?them,?and?I?wasn't?sure?who?was?right?or?who?was?wrong.?Finally,?the?conflict?erupted?and?the?student?stood?by?the?school?lake,?expressing?his?emotions?in?anger.
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He?jumped,?and?then?the?ambulance.?Then?came?the?videos?and?recordings?that?kept?circulating?between?the?students?and?people?started?to?become?angry.?We?wanted?to?know?the?truth?of?what?had?happened,?but?unfortunately?the?truth?would?never?be?known?to?me.?Our?school?was?briefly?trending?on?Weibo?before?it?was?replaced?by?other?news,?and?then?by?another?school's?nasty?incident.
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Eventually,?our?queries?became?"search?results?don't?exist",?and?like?so?many?things?in?2022,?became?vague,?confusing?and?non-existent.?Unseen,?I?couldn't?see?a?sincere?response.?Later,?they,?in?an?official?statement,?said?that?the?student?had?fallen?into?the?water?because?he?was?emotional?and?had?nothing?to?do?with?the?teacher.?They?were?always?right,?even?if?it?was?wrong,?and?we?had?to?put?stability?and?the?bigger?picture?first,?and?I?have?been?hostile?to?the?school?ever?since.
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During?that?time,?someone?else?jumped?out?of?a?building?at?the?school,?and?one?of?the?pictures?that?came?out?was?of?a?leaky?window?and?the?words?"Freedom?or?death"?on?the?wall.?Later,?he?became?known?as?a?lunatic?and?took?a?leap?because?he?had?a?confrontation?with?a?counsellor.?I?don't?know?what?happened?to?him,?except?that?there?was?one?less?trending?topic?on?Twitter.
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I?lived?in?a?state?of?sadness?until?something?finally?went?wrong?with?the?school's?food?as?well,?and?students?began?to?spread?rumours?that?the?food?in?the?canteen?was?substandard?and?that?students?were?getting?dysentery.?Immediately?afterwards,?tests?were?carried?out?and?the?school?began?to?distribute?questionnaires?to?ask?students?for?their?opinions?on?the?canteen,?and?the?canteen?in?question?was?closed?down.?It?was?all?so?absurd?that?I?changed?my?WeChat?avatar?to?the?French?word?for?"never?eat"?to?imitate?Debo's?"never?work".?In?my?own?way,?I?started?my?own?little?rebellion.?It's?childish,?but?I'm?sincere,?even?if?I?can't?never?eat?at?all.?But?one?has?to?have?one's?own?attitude.
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In?October,?the?cruel?season,?I?met?an?internet?friend?on?Machine?Core?who?was?speaking?about?Buddhism?in?Japan,?and?together?we?ran?an?accompanying?podcast?called?Shortwave?Communications.?Hopefully,?we?can?communicate?and?connect?with?more?friends.?Only?we?were?very?inexperienced?at?recording?and?each?show?turned?into?some?kind?of?sentimental?and?incoherent,?broken?stammering?about?the?past.?My?screen?name?is?KARASU,?so?he?calls?me?Crow?Guide.
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Mainly?because,?I?told?him,?I?was?a?radio?and?television?choreography?major,?and?it?was?funny?because?we?were?obviously?under?the?School?of?Journalism?and?Communication,?but?we?were?always?the?last?to?know?whenever?there?was?any?news?at?the?school.?Radio?and?television?choreography?is?a?major?that?is?neither?artistic?nor?practical?and?tends?to?train?people?to?be?daydreamers?like?me,?or?maybe?not.?My?classmates,?it?seemed,?were?all?interested?in?the?entertainment?industry.?But?I?prefer?art,?although?I?will?never?be?an?artist.
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We?recorded?a?few?episodes?like?that,?and?in?the?fourth?one?we?talked?about?Cyberpunk:?Edgewalker.?I?pulled?a?friend?that?I?had?met?because?of?Extreme?Disco,?and?he?pulled?another?friend?of?his.?We?had?a?great?casual?conversation?that?day?and?talked?about?a?lot?of?things?that?we?didn't?get?to?talk?about?in?the?show.?We?talked?about?fully?automated?capitalism?and?how?love?will?be?the?force?that?changes?everything?in?the?darkest?of?times.
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Why?I'm?angry?about?the?episode?of?Airwaves?and?Heaven?and?Earth?are?Useless.?It?was?because?of?the?arrogance?of?Pay?Chiao?and?3000.?I?don't?know?if?everyone?receiving?this?letter?can?relate?to?it.?As?a?young?man?in?his?twenties,?how?angry?must?he?be?to?be?told?by?a?group?of?middle-aged?people?in?their?thirties?and?forties?that?what?he?likes?is?"a?work?of?art"??I?think?they?may?have?developed?some?kind?of?middle-aged?"rebelliousness"?because?too?many?people?praised?the?film.
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I?also?love?the?animation?and?I?can?see?why?it?will?be?such?a?huge?success?in?2022.?I?saw?a?bit?of?myself?in?David,?especially?after?the?first?half?of?2022.?There?was?a?deeper?sense?of?the?system?and?control.?So?it?became?more?radical?and?rebellious.
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Like?David,?my?father?was?absent?from?my?life,?so?I?hated?men?and?all?toxic?masculinity.?I?had?vowed?never?to?become?a?greasy?middle-aged?man,?and?I?wanted?to?die?before?becoming?toxic.?Just?like?David,?my?mother?brought?me?up?on?her?own,?she?wanted?me?to?be?a?good?person,?she?wanted?me?to?have?a?secure?job?and?a?happy?life.
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But?it's?too?hard.?The?world?is?monopolised?by?Arasaka,?the?world?is?monopolised?by?big?corporations?and?authoritarian?governments.?Bureaucratic?capitalism?corrupts?hearts?and?minds,?corrupts?everything.?Both?the?rulers?and?the?ruled?have?become?cynics?in?a?sense
I?am?anti-establishment,?anti-authority,?anti-majority,?I?am?a?minority,?a?fringe,?a?radical?revolutionary.?I?am?the?noise?outside?the?main?theme,?and?you?can?call?me?a?cyberpunk?for?that?matter,?because?I?am?like?a?runaway?sports?car?that?rushes?hopelessly?into?the?top?of?a?high-rise?and?burns?out.
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Like?David,?even?out?of?the?system,?out?of?AraZaka?Inc.?To?put?it?bluntly,?the?Edge?Walker?(Edgerunner)?is?still?working?for?the?big?corporations.?In?the?cyberpunk?worldview,?they?were?never?dragon?slayers,?they?were?just?punks?walking?around?in?a?grey?area,?risking?their?lives?every?day?to?live?free.
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If?you've?read?the?Cyberpunk?2020?rulebook,?you'll?have?a?better?understanding?of?Mike?Pondsmith's?City?of?Night.?This?city,?the?city?that?eats?people,?is?where?we?chase?our?dreams,?and?a?few?of?us?succeed.?Most?people?are?eaten?by?this?city,?by?this?city.?They?are?crushed?by?this?city,?like?Mann?in?the?anime.?It's?like?the?animated?OP?where?David's?silhouette?is?full?of?people?he?meets?and?the?silhouette?that?shoots?him?at?the?end?is?full?of?buildings.?David,?was?not?killed?by?Adam's?Hammer,?who,?as?you?can?tell?from?his?name,?is?just?a?tool.
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David,?was?killed?by?a?city?that?had?no?hope?to?speak?of.?This?is?the?tragedy?of?the?age,?but?the?marginalised?live?more?transparently?than?we?do.?We?are?all?prisoners?of?life.
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I?use?my?body?as?an?extension?of?my?tool,?I?keep?climbing?up?and?up?the?ladder?of?this?city.?But?we?are?the?bottom?after?all,?the?people?above?us?are?invisible?to?us,?and?even?if?we?kill?them?all,?we?are?still?the?bottom.?We?can't?see?the?pathway?before?us,?and?we?can't?see?the?way?back?after?us.?We?are?homeless?wanderers?and?we?have?never?been?given?the?Promised?Land.
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The?end?of?the?animation?is?very?realistic?and?very?romantic.?Even?in?the?darkest?of?times,?we?still?have?love,?and?even?in?the?darkest?of?times,?so?what.?We?still?have?to?love?and?feel?and?live?in?spite?of?everything,?madly.
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I?am?an?Anarchist?teenager.
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I?held?thisfierce?emotion?until?the?end?of?the?semester.?We?had?to?make?a?short?film?as?a?final?assignment.?I?wasn't?the?director,?but?my?personal?will?established?the?central?idea?of?the?short?film.
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We?can't?have?just?one?voice,?and?the?voices?that?are?silenced?will?be?expressed?in?a?more?radical?way.?We?made?two?versions,?called?Wavelength?Lost?and?Lonely?Singer.?It's?about?a?fictional?music?metropolis?where?everyone?is?illuminated?by?a?wave?of?light?and?can't?sing.?But?the?protagonist?is?miraculously?able?to?sing,?so?the?conservative?advocates?force?him?to?stick?to?a?tradition?that?has?existed?since?who?knows?when,?and?make?him?sing?the?official?song?"Hear?Me?Say?Thank?You".?Eventually,?he?sings?something?else.
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I?added?a?lot?of?my?own?ideas?to?this?rough?short?film,?where?I?had?the?conservative?bureaucrats?transform?ordinary?people?so?that?they?lose?their?voices?to?imitate?the?only?person?who?can?sing?and?continue?to?sing?the?official?song?'Listen?to?me?say?thank?you'.?This?was?filmed?as?if?the?Masked?Rider?was?having?a?makeover?operation,?and?I?had?a?lot?of?fun?directing?the?director.
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At?the?end,?we?had?the?protagonist?sing?the?song?he?wanted?to?sing?outside?of?the?officially?mandated?stage,?but?it?didn't?matter?what?that?song?was.
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I?chose?Tsubasa?no?Kudasai?(アルバム?バージョン)?from?EVA?at?the?end
And?let?the?director?dye?the?sky?red?and?make?this?world?a?revolutionary?one
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If?my?wish?comes?true,?then?give?me?wings,?like?a?bird.
Please?put?pure?white?wings?on?this?back?/?On?this?back
Spread?your?wings?in?this?sky?/?and?fly?freely
Free?from?sorrow?/?Soar?on?the?wings?of?the?wind
The?dreams?of?childhood?/?Still?hope?so
To?fly?on?the?wings?of?this?sky
A?free?sky?without?sorrow?/?On?the?wings?of?the?wind
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I?returned?to?Shanghai,?after?five?days?of?rejection?from?indoor?venues.?And?just?after?I?finished?those?5?days,?the?foreign?returnees?did?not?need?to?be?rejected?by?indoor?places?for?5?days.?It?all?happened?very?quickly.
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While?I?was?still?at?school,?patriotic?movements?were?happening?all?over?the?country.?I?envied?them,?but?on?the?one?hand?I?wouldn't?go?and?join?them.?Because?the?slogans?they?were?shouting?were?not?the?sound?I?wanted?to?make.?I?knew?we?should?be?united,?but?I?didn't?want?to?go?from?one?landscape?to?another.?I?wanted?to?remain?my?own?independent?self.
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So?I?started?going?around?campus,?shouting,?"I'm?a?dog!"?Some?people?might?think?this?is?some?kind?of?claptrap,?but?I?don't?think?so,?I?think?this?is?my?self-perception,?this?is?my?attitude?to?life,?this?is?what?I?am.?I?am?a?dog,?I?live?like?a?dog.?In?a?way?I'm?a?classical,?Diogenes-like?cynic.
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I?sing?"Brave?Man"?in?the?streets,?"No?more?fences,?I?have?no?resistance?here.""?Don't?raise?your?pistol,?I've?got?no?resistance?here."
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With?the?utmost?determination,?I?carried?out?the?resistance?that?was?mine.
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I?loved?the?May?Red?Storm,?I?loved?the?left-wing?movement?in?Japan?in?the?60s.
I?watched?people?walk?from?Yasuda?Lecture?Hall?to?Narita?Airport,?I?watched?people?burn?with?a?desire?to?run?amok?at?Asama?Hills,?and?I?could?only?watch?as?300?million?yen?disappeared.?I?too?could?only?watch?the?end?of?an?era.
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On?31?December?2022,?every?day?since?the?24th?when?I?contracted?the?new?crown,?I?have?been?in?bed?thinking?about?the?"I"?of?this?entire?year.?How?I?wrote?about?"me"?and?how?I?was?written?about.
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I?began?to?make?wild,?radical?statements.?I?began?to?despise?everything,?to?oppose?everything,?to?be?angry?about?everything,?to?be?called?by?my?friends?a?teenager?poisoned?by?Western?liberalism.?I?was,?but?so?what.
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I?started?to?re-read?The?Little?Prince,?I?didn't?want?to?be?a?boring,?hypocritical?adult,?I?wanted?to?live?for?myself,?I?wanted?to?burn?myself?until?this?fire?burned?me?out.?I?want?to?be?the?new?young?man?of?my?time,?and?though?I?don't?know?what?I'm?going?to?do,?I?know?how?I'm?going?to?do?it!
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I?saw?the?year-end?summary?on?Netflix?and?I?know?it?was?tendentiously?edited?together?with?negative?news?and?it?was?stirring?up?my?emotions.
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But?so?what,?why?should?we?pretend?that?everything?is?fine,?why?should?we?accept?that?the?years?are?fine.?We?should?feel?angry,?we?should?take?to?the?streets.?We?should?speak?our?minds,?we?should?have?a?scientific?basis,?we?should?be?realistic.
Practice!?is?the?only?test?of?truth!
We?should?wander?in?the?dark?until?the?flames?consume?us!
Fear?not?the?night,?for?I?am?a?poet!
Why?don't?we?turn?our?hearts?to?the?light?when?we?are?in?the?shadows!
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Shall?we?not?be?true!?Shouldn't?we?be?angry!?Shall?we?not?fight!
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So?I?took?to?the?streets?on?the?first?day?of?the?New?Year.
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My?friends?and?family?thought?I?was?crazy,?but?in?such?a?crazy?time,?why?do?we?pretend?to?be?civilised?and?pretend?that?everything?is?normal.?It's?normal?for?different?people?to?have?different?views?on?different?things.
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Then?I'm?going?to?be?the?noise?outside?the?main?theme,?I'm?going?to?be?the?big?black?lump?in?history.?Inside?the?podcast,?maybe?you?guys?are?just?saying?what?you?think,?but?it?does?have?an?impact?on?how?I?see?the?world.?I'm?so?thankful?that?I?met?you?guys?and?your?music?and?podcasts.
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I?grabbed?my?mum's?guitar?and?went?out,?I?always?thought?an?electric?guitar?would?be?more?rock?and?roll?but?after?I?picked?it?up?and?started?playing?around?with?it.?I?thought?the?xylophone?was?pretty?rockin'?too.?I?hadn't?been?out?of?the?house?for?days?and?the?first?thing?I?said?when?I?walked?out?on?the?street?was?2022?fuck?you.
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Then?I?got?on?the?underground?line?one?and?as?the?train?was?moving,?noisy.?Whispered?'South?Crossing?Point'?by?White?Paper?Fan."?It?was?lost?like?that,?not?for?the?first?time.?A?sigh?out?of?a?thick?fog,?wrapped?in?a?sad?reality.?That?last?second.?Time?and?space?shattering?into?a?million?times,?but?not?stopping.?Spinning,?your?shadow.
I'm?still?sad.
I?got?off?the?train?at?Shanghai?Circus?City?station?and?walked?to?exit?2.?The?song?"Attack?of?Shanghai?Circus?City"?by?Top?Floor?Circus?came?on?in?my?headphones?then?casually?bounced?the?other?while?singing?the?song?to?myself?there,?full?of?anger?and?people?walking?away?from?me?fast?in?fear.
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After?the?song,?I?went?back?to?the?underground?and?I?went?to?People's?Square,?at?the?same?exit?that?leads?to?Raffles?Place.?I?played?my?guitar?very?intensely?on?my?side?and?said?to?everyone?who?passed?by.
Don't?forget?2022,?2023?keep?fighting.?Forget?the?past?and?we?won't?get?a?better?tomorrow.?We?must?be?realistic!?Practice,?the?only?test?of?truth!?Practice,?the?only?test?of?truth!
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I?like?the?mind?police,?I'm?a?thought?criminal,?I?love?Big?Brother!
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I?remember?people?applauding?me,?but?more?people?just?looked?on?coldly,?feeling?baffled.?I?mimicked?the?way?the?band?introduced?themselves?in?the?film,?introducing?myself?to?this?indie?band,?the?Darkness?Wandering?Manifesto.?At?the?same?time,?I?was?also?the?boxer?for?the?extreme?punk?band,?The?Sissies,?and?was?responsible?for?beating?up?the?audience?during?the?show.
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The?Black?Night?Wandering?Manifesto,?from?Guy?Debord,?whose?film?title?I?translated?into?Japanese?as?"We?wander?in?the?night?until?the?fire?consumes?us",?the?first?half?of?which?was?translated?as?Black?Night?Wandering.?So?there?was?the?Black?Night?Wanderings?Manifesto?Band.
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Then?I?sang?"She's?a?Revolutionary"?by?Mind?Police?and?"The?End?of?the?Poet".?Then?without?looking?back?I?walked?up?the?streets?of?Fuzhou?Road?and?said?to?everyone?who?came?up?to?me.
Happy?New?Year!?Don't?forget?2022,?2023?and?we'll?keep?fighting?for?a?better?tomorrow.
Happy?New?Year?to?you?all,?happy?New?Year?to?you?all,?and?may?you?have?a?wonderful?year!
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I?was?at?the?crossroads,?making?an?impassioned?speech,?and?people?were?stopping?to?watch.?I?said?we?must?remember?2022,?we?must?keep?fighting!?We?must?stay?true?and?stay?angry!?People?are?giving?me?faults,?people?are?wishing?me?better?and?better?for?2023!?I?even?shook?hands?with?a?stranger.
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When?I?was?crossing?the?road,?a?little?guy?said?I?looked?like?someone?he?knew,?he?said?I?looked?like?his?Rapper?friend.?I?was?happy?to?have?a?chat?with?strangers.
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Just?as?I?will?never?forget?my?hostility?towards?him?in?this?life,?I?will?never?forget?the?smiles?of?ordinary?people?who?were?willing?to?respond?to?me?saying?Happy?New?Year.
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I?love?them?and?they?all?have?a?bright?future?ahead?of?them.?I?will?fight?until?the?flames?consume?me?for?their?smiles.?I?am?the?noise?beyond?the?main?theme?of?this?age,?I?am?the?soul?of?this?age,?wandering?in?the?darkness?of?the?night.?I?am?the?poet,?the?madman,?the?homeless?child.?But?I?believe?that?there?is?a?better?tomorrow?and?we?must?keep?fighting.?This?is?my?declaration?of?wandering?in?the?dark.
People?take?the?bullets?of?the?chaotic?world?for?me.?I?am?the?one?who?collects?the?bodies,?holds?the?wake,?and?travels?between?the?worlds?of?life?and?death.?I?may?indeed?be?a?middle-class?teenager?poisoned?by?Western?liberalism,?I?may?be?a?little?bourgeois?pretending?to?be?the?bottom,?with?all?the?petty?bourgeois?habits.?I?may?not?be?the?real?bottom,?and?I?accept?all?the?criticism?I?get?from?people.?I?am?also?self-reflective?every?day.
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I?am?against?everything,?even?myself.?I?don't?need?to?be?comrades?with?anyone,?I?want?to?live?independently.?Maybe?I'm?alone,?but?this?is?my?war.?I?am?Don?Quixote,?I?am?the?libertine?who?dies?with?his?ideals.?I?will?wander,?I?will?exile?myself?from?this?modern?society.?I?am?the?beast,?I?am?everything?outside?the?rules!
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But?none?of?this?matters,?I?long?for?a?revolution?that?destroys?everything,?and?then?in?unleashing?the?revolution?that?destroys?it.?What?I?long?for?is?a?revolution?of?the?end!?This?is?my?manifesto?for?the?final?revolution!?There?are?those?who?are?armed?to?the?teeth,?I?would?say?that?it?is?not?enough,?we?must?arm?our?minds.?Welcome?to?the?Front?of?Armed?Minds!?You?are?welcome?to?join?me?in?shouting?your?own?manifesto?of?dark?indecision!
Of?course?we?can't?live?without?society,?without?rules,?which?are?the?basis?of?our?modern?life,?our?minimum?security.?But?why?do?we?fight?so?hard?to?maintain?this?social?order,?instead?of?trying?to?make?it?better,?to?make?tomorrow?better.?Is?it?because?you?are?all?vested?interests,?you?are?all?middle?class??But?you?are?not?all?middle?class?or?rich.?Why?do?you?no?longer?believe?that?there?is?justice?and?goodness?in?the?world??Why?have?you?all?become?cynics,?hypocritical?intellectuals!
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With?childlike?words?and?gestures,?I?want?to?wake?up?the?world?around?me?to?the?fact?that?we?are?not?in?the?dark,?that?we?have?the?right?to?embrace?the?light.?Democracy?and?freedom?should?never?be?words?that?cannot?be?mentioned,?nor?should?they?be?a?joke.
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Gin?and?black?tea?hate?me?because?I?am?in?over?my?head,?because?I?am?a?burning?blaze.?They?believe?that?science?is?more?important?than?art.?I?have?never?denied?that?science?is?the?first?productive?force?and?that?it?has?changed?our?lives.
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But?we?cannot?do?without?art,?which?paints?the?ideal?picture?of?what?the?world?should?look?like?for?us.?I?will?never?give?up?art?in?my?life.?I?can't?be?a?musician,?a?painter,?a?director,?a?literary?person?or?a?poet,?I?can't?be?an?artist.?But?so?what!
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I'm?going?to?live?for?myself!?I'm?going?to?be?a?defender?of?the?arts!?I?will?guard?my?conscience?in?this?performance?society,?this?utilitarian?society.?I?want?to?be?a?friend?of?that?meaningless,?trivial?and?absurd?reality.?I?want?to?be?the?fantasy,?I?want?to?oppose?all?reality.
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Without?fantasy,?reality?does?not?exist.?How?could?there?be?scientific?socialism,?how?could?there?be?the?socialism?with?Chinese?characteristics?that?we?have?today,?without?idealistic?socialism!
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Daydreamers,?too,?can?change?the?world!
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I?am?the?knight?in?shining?armour!?I?am?a?gentleman?of?whimsy!?I?am?the?master?of?destiny?ruled?by?fate!?I?am?the?nemesis?of?the?Glaurung!?I?am?Don?Quixote!?I?am?Thulin?Tulenpaugh!
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I?am?Shooting?Star?in?the?flavor?of?FLCL?and?the?pillows,?I?am?Last?Dinosaur,?a?lifelong?search?for?my?Little?Buster!
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This?is?the?lament?of?the?idealists,?this?is?the?lament?of?the?left.?I?will?be?the?left-wing?flag?bearer?of?a?new?era,?and?if?no?one?else?raises?this?flag.?Let?me?raise?this?flag!
A?young?man,?who?is?not?a?left-winger?until?he?is?30,?has?no?conscience!
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You're?right,?I?was?a?well-protected?student?in?an?ivory?tower,?and?because?of?that?I?have?the?courage?and?the?teenage?heart?to?say?these?things!?This?is?what?I,?as?a?student,?want?to?call?out.
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I?am?unacceptable?to?mainstream?society,?a?dissident!
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You?can?arrest?me,?lock?me?up?at?600?South?Wanping?Road,?and?send?me?to?Longhua?Road.?But?you?can't?kill?my?mind,?you?can't?defeat?me!
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Let?this?storm,?let?it?come?harder!
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Are?we?living?in?the?darkest?of?times??Not?really,?but?even?if?we?live?in?the?darkest?of?times,?so?what!?We're?still?the?weeds?that?won't?burn!
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No,?we?are?to?be?the?wildfire?that?burns?the?whole?world!?This?blazing?wildfire?is?lighting?up?the?night!
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I?will?call?upon?the?beast?of?love?in?the?heart?of?the?world!
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I?will?be?an?Anarchist?adolescent?until?the?moment?of?my?death.
We?wander?in?the?darkness?of?the?night?until?the?fire?consumes?us.
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This?is?my?declaration?of?wandering?in?the?darkness?of?the?night.

Sincerely?yours
The?Manifesto?of?Wandering?in?the?Darkness
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