In recent months, I found that I seem to fall in love with a girl. She is very good-looking and plump. From the first sight I saw her, I felt as if I had seen her somewhere. (imitating dream of Red Mansions, Jia Baoyu and Lin Daiyu) she is very cheerful. Through my observation in recent months, I found that she is very serious about her study and is very active in asking questions from teachers and classmates, I also remember that it was in June 2020 when I first came back to school after the epidemic. The weather was hot and the sun was shining. It was during the break. She came slowly to me and said with a smile that Xueba, you are too good. You can do everything. Would you like to make friends with her? I'm glad to accept it, but I have to say that her action made me "unable to prevent it." (I said in the previous contribution video that my family was in a bad situation when I was a child, my parents divorced, and no one remarried. Later, my mother died in an accident, and I didn't even see her last face. My mother left suddenly, saying that forgetting someone started with her voice, I couldn't even leave a tear, because I didn't see the last side, and I had no impression of her. During the period when my mother died, I felt that I was sick and psychologically ill. Everyone had a dark side. My heart seemed to be full of shadows, but I was not depressed. I was just worried about gain and loss. I admit that what I said was somewhat contradictory, but it came from my complex human heart. It was too late for the dead sheep to mend. The tree wanted to be quiet and the wind was blowing, Even now I can't remember where my mother was buried. All I remember is that it was a noisy roadside with corn growing in the field. It was very sad. My mother's name was Zhuang Weifang. I didn't know the story of the Chuang family and the Chen family. But looking at their marriage certificates, I felt that my father was very handsome when he was young. He was one meter eight tall and should have been a happy family, Maybe it's because of the serious illness of my grandparents and the high cost of surgery that crushed such a man. It's also one of the reasons why his wife resolutely chose to divorce him. I remember that when I was young, my grandfather picked up all the clothes I wore from the garbage heap. Later, the clothes were mainly helped by my seven aunts and eight aunts, especially my grandparents - (local dialect) real relatives, Later, the old granny also got liver disease and died. It's written here that it's no offense. It's here as a memorial ceremony and the dead rest in peace. Back when I was a child, I remember that there was a shed made of rotten iron. There were four thin wooden pillars under the iron as supports. One pillar was chained to a dog guarding the door. The dog had three legs and white fur. I called it Dabai. At that time, there should be no super marine team. I remember that my grandfather and I were riding a pedal type tricycle to buy vegetables on the roadside one winter, I don't know how many sins it suffered in the cold winter. My grandfather said: it happened that there was a shortage of dogs at home, so I took it back to guard the door. My grandfather's pedals were also parked in the shed. Later, they were replaced by electric tricycles. Of course, they were very old. The photoelectric bottles were replaced several times. In addition, people really had a premonition about some ten. I remember one day when I was a child, My parents were chatting with each other by the woods beside the shed. Someone asked my mother how she appeared. I don't know, because when I was a child, I wanted to piece things together or have a dream. Anyway, my parents chatted with me by the pillar and avoided me. I was very sensitive to this kind of thing. I looked at it from the window, and their two expressions were very serious. I felt that what was going to happen later was not known, I don't have any memory. I just remember that I opened the cupboard and took a gum to eat. There was a big mirror on the cupboard which was common in families. After that, I didn't know why the TV was on when I was the only one? I remember what was shown on TV very clearly. It seems that an aunt was working in someone else's home and wanted to go home, but she only had 100 yuan. She bought a lollipop for a child and couldn't go back by herself, because I just found a lollipop in the cupboard, so I thought about it. It's amazing. Recently, I checked the story, It was "my ugly mother" broadcasted by Jiangsu Satellite TV in 2008. If the story is right, I was three or four years old at that time, and I forgot to say that I had a cesarean section. They all said that cesarean section had a great impact on the growth of children. I also felt that my brain was not smart and my body was very weak. I kept several pictures from childhood to adulthood and uploaded them to station B, Later on, the story is that primary school and junior high school made do with each other. They were from grade to grade all the time, and they didn't move much. They studied hard. Almost at that time, my mother had an accident. I didn't see my mother before that. Maybe I haven't seen any side of my mother since I divorced. My grandfather's feudal ideology is very serious. According to the neighbors, my mother came to see me, and my grandfather was not allowed to enter, I don't know the sophistication in it. It's a pity. I wish I could live a long time. Later, maybe I became seriously depressed and suddenly became interested in my study. But I didn't care about hygiene all day. I only took a few baths a year. There was only a big basin and no bathroom. In winter, it was very cold at home. In summer, my fans were broken, my clothes were patched, and my skin was dark, Originally, there was no mother to care about it. My grandfather and father were also careless. They said that they would read it when they grew up. You were the master of your youth, and they were not very responsible. But since I was a child, I didn't beat me less because of my mistakes. Maybe most of my spirit was used to fight against diseases, and I didn't have the energy to dress myself. Of course, I'm glad I was just a little boy, There's nothing to dress up for. Kindergarten can't remember clearly, junior high school feel nothing to say, basically test down a nothing to write, every day on time class, in fact, junior high school had a good impression of people, but also not too seriously, buried in the heart, feel like a joke, during the period also fell once, the arm in the hospital big and small lived for more than a month, leaving a long scar of life! Junior high school is OK, a little progress, also passed the first grade of the school. Originally, my father asked me to go to a vocational middle school, but I did well in the exam. I got more than 500 points in County No.1 middle school. Although I didn't enter a key class, it was also half a step to university. I was hopeful to find a good job in the future. At this time, I met a person who could affect my life, although I was infected by the epidemic, But it didn't separate us). Hearing her sweet words, I felt that my cold heart had melted. There was such a character in the world. Of course, it might be beauty in the eyes of the lover. I fell in love with her, but I didn't say a word. I lived a school life of unrequited love. I certainly accepted her invitation to be a friend. Later, she also asked me questions from time to time, It can be seen that she made great efforts, but it didn't help much. She also asked her best friend many times or asked herself that she couldn't learn well. What should she do? Can I still get into university? Is there no good way to learn? The speaker didn't mean it, but the listener meant it. I wrote it down. I took advantage of several self-study classes and sacrificed my dinner time to write her a full (pros and cons) learning brocade, in which I wrote some Chinese materials to memorize, master basic knowledge, brush more math questions, visit station B, and many up masters' learning views were very helpful. During the evening self-study break, she asked me physics questions, I said that I wrote my way of thinking to her in the book. When I was about to go to class, I put the paper in her book and handed it to her. The paper clip was very firm. Because I lost it, I got GG. She took the book in a hurry. Because there were more than 30 seconds left for class, she came back to her desk. It seemed that she opened it, but it didn't open it again. It seemed that I looked at the book a few times, but I didn't see it clearly, My heart is very tangled, I don't know whether she saw that one or not? But in the second and third recess, she just took the book to ask other people questions. She could judge that the piece of paper was missing, just in case. After the evening self-study at 10:15 in the evening, when all the students left, I came to her desk and opened the book. There was no paper I gave. I don't know whether I was happy or sad, but I lost it? Or did she take it? After a week, I tried to talk to her, and put forward some methods, learning and so on. It seemed that her reaction was quite normal, and I didn't comment on that piece of paper. I give her a topic, she often gives me a few small notes to write thank you or something, I put it in a delicate small box. I said to my friend, if I send something to someone, I see that she seems to accept it, but there is no response, what should I do? My friend said to me, do you need her to respond to the thing you gave me? If not, what are you looking forward to? Yes, this is a learning method. It's normal not to respond! Later, she sent me a message, asking me how to find the Chinese material. This is really the first item of my study plan for her. I raised a little hope. I asked her why she wanted some material now. She said that she just wanted to look for it casually. It seems that she deliberately avoided the problem of that piece of paper. It seems that you want to avoid causing misunderstanding. I also gave it to her. I found some material on the Internet and sent it to her. She said thank you. Then there was endless Acacia. During one PE class, she came to me and asked me a question, where do I want to test? I said that I hope I can be admitted to Yanda or Heda, almost more than 600 points. She said that she also wants to be admitted to Heda, or Agricultural University, and find a good job in the future. Then we went to the class together to see the present results, talked a little bit, and finally encouraged each other to work hard. From then on, I felt a sudden momentum, If I can go to the same university with my beloved, and then have a chance meeting in the University, graduate and find a job, get married and have children, what a perfect life it will be. I hope I can live a happy life that I love her and she loves me forever... Of course, I feel that it's just a dream, more or less God's will, Later, every PE class, she likes to take out her little book to study after physical exercise, and I also accompany her silently with the book, although I don't dare to be too close. Until recently, after class at about 5:00 p.m., I went to the canteen for dinner. I saw a fight between senior two and senior three, and a group of people watching. A classmate's meal was scattered, and no one around me was nosy. I picked up the plate, took some toilet paper from my pocket, and cleaned up the tableware. She saw it nearby and helped me. I didn't know she was there, I never thought she would be here. Because she likes to study, and basically doesn't like to come to the restaurant for dinner. God has given me a chance to express myself, but what's the use of brushing my good feelings? Later, I gave her several love letters and poems, but I didn't dare to send them. I guess I'll write 520 of them. I don't know if I can get results in the end? But I believe that everything is the best arrangement, I believe that life is still to be continuedLater, I began to try to write some love letters, but because of my shyness and shyness, I didn't dare to send them. I don't know why. At one noon. I plucked up my courage. He put a bottle of calcium in his schoolbag. But I didn't think she was allergic to milk. I didn't discuss with his good friends in advance, which led to my wrong choice. Later, some good friends talked with me and passed me some notes. I don't have much preparation. To this year's may day, I officially expressed in QQ, she said brother Xiang, good will be a bit. But you'd better study hard, you can meet better people. I also wish that she can meet a person she likes, sometime in the future. Success or failure is a relative concept. What's more, I'm only in high school now, and I still have a long life in the future. There's no grass in the end of the world. Why do I always look around. I feel relieved after these days. I believe I can do better. After all, we can't force emotion.