一起跳舞-一篇優(yōu)秀申請美國本科文書分享
Dancing Together
一起跳舞
作者:Dayann
I cannot dance.
我不會跳舞。
This is not something I often admit willingly; in fact, it is quite baffling to me how horribly incapable I am at performing even the most basic movements on command. My grandmother often describes it as “a tragedy” as she is forced to watch her grandchild absolutely butcher our country’s cultural dances, beautiful expressions of our unique West African roots turned into poor facsimiles by my robotic movements.
這不是我心甘情愿承認(rèn)的事情;事實上,令我感到十分困惑的是,我竟然連最基本的動作都做不好。我的奶奶經(jīng)常將我的舞蹈描述為“一場悲劇”,因為她必須被迫看著自己的孫子也就是我徹底摧毀代表我們國家文化的舞蹈,看著我們獨特的源自西非的美麗表演被我機器人般的動作活生生變成拙劣的復(fù)制品。
And yet, year after year, I find myself taking the dance floor at my family’s events, seemingly unaware of my objective lack of skill. Eventually, my display proves to be so amazingly unbearable that I am removed from the floor and shown the correct movements over and over again until I am able to replicate them well enough to come back. Bizarrely, despite my previous declaration that I cannot dance, for the past three years, I have found myself performing an entire choreographed routine at my school’s yearly pep rallies.
然而,年復(fù)一年,我都在家里舉辦的各種活動中跳舞,似乎我并沒有意識到自己客觀上缺乏舞蹈的技能。最終,令人驚訝的是,我的表演被證明是如此令人難以忍受,以至于別人將我從地板上移走,并一遍又一遍地給我展示正確的動作,直到我能夠非常好地復(fù)制這些動作。奇怪的是,盡管我之前聲明我不會跳舞,但在過去的三年里,我仍然在學(xué)校的年度賽前動員會上表演了一整套精心設(shè)計的舞蹈。
It is through looking back at these events that I realize that I have created a mischaracterization of my dancing abilities through my decisive first sentence. I can dance and am, in fact, very capable of doing so, but not when I act insularly. My ability to dance correlates directly with how willing I am to collaborate, the input and support of others turning the uncoordinated and unwieldy into the near-graceful.
回顧這些事件,我意識到自己通過決定性的第一句話“我不會跳舞”創(chuàng)造了一個對我舞蹈能力的錯誤描述。我會跳舞,而且事實上,我有能力這樣做,但并不是當(dāng)我獨立行動時。我跳舞的能力與我合作的意愿直接相關(guān),并且其他人的投入和支持將我的不協(xié)調(diào)和笨拙近乎變成了優(yōu)雅。
My attempts at dancing have led me to value community and collaboration greatly, and I find myself seeking and being drawn towards environments that will allow me to continue to develop both of these values as I learn and grow. Through my internship with the Johns Hopkins Applied Physics Lab, I was exposed to and became fascinated by the collaborative spirit that lies at the heart of Johns Hopkins. The idea that one cannot discover or innovate when working alone was affirmed during my research, and I have come to see that mutual collaboration and community are integral aspects of Johns Hopkins’ unique culture. From the research initiatives that breach the boundaries between class levels, to the many organizations such as the Tutorial Project, relying on the shared initiatives of different students to directly make an impact on Baltimore and its many communities, and the distinctive access to especially interdisciplinary topics such as neuromorphic systems, I view that Johns Hopkins exemplifies the peak of collaborative achievement in education.
我在舞蹈上的嘗試使我非常重視團體和合作,我發(fā)現(xiàn)自己一直在尋找并被吸引到允許自己在學(xué)習(xí)和成長中繼續(xù)發(fā)展這一價值觀(即重視團體和合作)的環(huán)境中。通過在約翰·霍普金斯應(yīng)用物理實驗室的實習(xí),我接觸到了約翰·霍普金斯大學(xué)核心的協(xié)作精神,并被其深深吸引。在我的研究過程中,“任何個人都無法獨自完成某一發(fā)現(xiàn)或創(chuàng)新的想法”得到了證實,我逐漸認(rèn)識到相互協(xié)作和社區(qū)是約翰·霍普金斯大學(xué)獨特文化中不可或缺的一部分。從打破班級界限的研究計劃,到許多組織,如“輔導(dǎo)項目”,它依靠不同學(xué)生的共同倡議直接對巴爾的摩及其許多社區(qū)產(chǎn)生影響,以及對跨學(xué)科主題如神經(jīng)形態(tài)系統(tǒng)的獨特參與權(quán),約翰霍普金斯大學(xué),我認(rèn)為,無不體現(xiàn)了教育領(lǐng)域合作成就的巔峰。
Admissions Committee Comments:
招生委員會意見:
In Dayann’s essay, we learn a few things about him. First, he loves to participate. Despite his insistence that he cannot dance, we see him dancing throughout his essay. Second, he realizes that he can in fact dance, but needs to work with others to bring out the best in himself, and in the group. And third, he then is able to connect this to his future. He recognizes that in order to reach his potential, he wants to be at a place where he can collaborate with peers who can challenge him to be even better.
在達揚(Dayann)的文章中,我們了解到一些關(guān)于他的事情。第一,他熱愛參與。盡管他堅持說他不會跳舞,但我們看到他在整篇文章中都在跳舞。第二,他意識到自己實際上可以跳舞,但需要與他人合作,以發(fā)揮自己和團隊的最佳水平。第三,他能把這和他的未來聯(lián)系起來。他認(rèn)識到,為了發(fā)揮自己的潛力,他需要在一個可以與同齡人合作的地方,這些同齡人可以挑戰(zhàn)他,并讓他變得更好。
筆者的點評:
本文雖短,但短小精悍。開頭寫了自己不會跳舞,甚至經(jīng)常出丑。比如我的奶奶經(jīng)常將我的舞蹈描述為“一場悲劇”,因為她必須被迫看著自己的孫子也就是我徹底摧毀代表我們國家文化的舞蹈,看著我們獨特的源自西非的美麗表演被我機器人般的動作活生生變成拙劣的復(fù)制品。另外, 我也在家庭活動中跳舞,由于自己動作笨拙和難看,自己被別人教育,最終學(xué)會了如何正確地跳舞。自己也在不同的場合上跳舞,比如學(xué)校的年度賽前動員會。
然而,作者話鋒一轉(zhuǎn),說其實我會跳舞,而且我有能力這樣做,但并不是當(dāng)我獨立行動時。我跳舞的能力與我合作的意愿直接相關(guān),并且其他人的投入和支持將我的不協(xié)調(diào)和笨拙近乎變成了優(yōu)雅。也就是說,自己必須依靠團隊和他人的幫助才能真正地把舞給跳好。自己通過跳舞,意識到了團隊和合作的重要性。
最后一段,通過在約翰·霍普金斯應(yīng)用物理實驗室的實習(xí),我接觸到了約翰·霍普金斯大學(xué)核心的協(xié)作精神,并被其深深吸引。我逐漸認(rèn)識到相互協(xié)作和社區(qū)是約翰·霍普金斯大學(xué)獨特文化中不可或缺的一部分。從打破班級界限的研究計劃,到許多組織,如“輔導(dǎo)項目”,它依靠不同學(xué)生的共同倡議直接對巴爾的摩及其許多社區(qū)產(chǎn)生影響,以及對跨學(xué)科主題如神經(jīng)形態(tài)系統(tǒng)的獨特參與權(quán),約翰霍普金斯大學(xué),我認(rèn)為,無不體現(xiàn)了教育領(lǐng)域合作成就的巔峰。也就是說,約翰·霍普金斯大學(xué)的倡導(dǎo)合作的文化與自己的性格和經(jīng)歷不謀而合,所以申請約翰·霍普金斯大學(xué)也就不足為奇了。