“There’s?a?unicorn?on?this.”
Grinning,?I?take?the?letter?out?of?Jude’s?hands,?leaning?back?on?the?nest?of?sleeping?bags?and?pillows?we’ve?built?inside?the?little?orange?tent?I’ve?set?up?in?the?backyard.?The?sun?set?about?an?hour?ago,?and?the?only?light?left?comes?from?my?Coleman?lantern,?which?is?affixed?to?a?little?hook?on?the?ceiling?of?the?tent.?We?haven’t?done?a?backyard?campout?since?we?were?in?fifth?grade,?but?it’s?summer,?and?we?were?bored,?and?setting?up?the?tent?seemed?like?a?fun?thing?to?do.
“Now?you?see?why?I?wanted?to?go?to?school?there,”?I?say,?stuffing?the?letter?back?into?its?envelope.?“Anyplace?that?uses?unicorns?in?its?official?correspondence?is?a?good?place?for?me.”
“Obviously,”?Jude?echoes,?leaning?back,?too.?Her?long?blond?hair?is?dyed?turquoise?at?the?ends,?and?as?she?gets?situated?on?the?sleeping?bags,?those?bright?blue?strands?brush?against?my?arm,?setting?my?pulse?racing?and?a?whole?fleet?of?butterflies?loose?in?my?stomach.
Propping?herself?up?on?her?elbow,?Jude?looks?at?me,?the?freckles?over?the?bridge?of?her?nose?bold?in?the?lantern?light.?“And?you?got?in!”
Nodding,?I?look?back?at?the?envelope?from?Gregorstoun,?a?fancy?boarding?school?in?the?Highlands?of?Scotland,?fighting?the?urge?to?pull?the?letter?out?and?reread?the?heading.
Dear?Miss?Amelia?Quint:
We?are?pleased?to?offer?you?a?place?at?Gregorstoun?.?.?.
The?letter?has?been?sitting?in?my?bag?for?over?a?month?now.?I?haven’t?even?told?my?dad?about?it.?And?I?hadn’t?planned?on?talking?to?Jude?about?it,?either,?but?she?saw?it?while?she?was?looking?for?lip?balm.
“So?why?aren’t?you?going?”?she?asks,?and?I?shrug,?taking?the?letter?and?tucking?it?back?in?the?front?pocket?of?the?beat-up?canvas?satchel?I?bring?everywhere?with?me.?A?light?breeze?rattles?the?nylon?of?the?tent,?carrying?the?smell?of?summer?night?in?Texas—freshly?cut?grass?and?the?smoky?scent?of?someone?grilling.
“Millie,?you’ve?been?talking?about?this?school?for,?like,?a?year?now,”?Jude?presses,?reaching?out?to?push?me?with?her?free?hand.?“And?now?you?got?in,?and?you’re?not?gonna?go?”
Another?shrug?as?I?sigh?and?fiddle?with?my?bangs.?“It’s?super?expensive,”?I?tell?her,?which?is?true.?“So?I’d?need?to?apply?for?financial?aid.?And?it’s?pretty?far?away.”?Also?true,?not?that?that?stopped?me?from?dreaming?about?it?all?last?year.?Gregorstoun?is?up?in?the?Highlands?of?Scotland,?surrounded?by?mountains?and?lakes—sorry,?lochs—plus?all?the?cool?rock?samples?a?geology?freak?like?me?could?want.
But?last?year,?things?were?different?with?Jude.
We’ve?been?friends?since?we?were?nine,?and?I’ve?had?a?crush?on?her?since?I?was?thirteen?and?realized?that?I?felt?the?same?way?about?Jude?as?I?did?about?Lance?McHenry?from?Boys?of?Summer?(look,?everyone?liked?Boys?of?Summer?back?then,?it?wasn’t?as?embarrassing?as?it?sounds?now).
And?my?crush?on?Jude?had?just?as?much?a?chance?of?being?requited?as?the?flame?I’d?carried?for?a?floppy-haired?boy?bander.
Or?so?I’d?thought.
Now?she?scoots?closer?to?me?on?top?of?the?sleeping?bag?printed?with?daisies?she’s?had?since?that?first?fifth-grade?campout.?Unlike?me,?Jude?isn’t?much?for?camping.
She?trails?her?fingers?over?my?arm,?nails?lightly?scratching?my?skin,?and?my?breath?comes?out?all?shaky?as?I?break?out?in?goose?bumps.?Each?fingernail?is?painted?a?different?shade?of?purple,?her?thumb?a?pale?lavender,?her?pinky?a?violet?so?deep?it?almost?looks?black.?There?in?the?tent?with?the?summer?night?all?around?us,?it?feels?like?we?could?be?the?only?two?people?in?the?world?right?now.
“You’re?not?turning?it?down?because?of?me,?are?you?”?she?asks,?and?my?heart?does?a?neat?little?flip?in?my?chest.?This?.?.?.?thing?between?me?and?Jude?has?been?going?on?since?the?beginning?of?the?summer,?but?I’m?not?used?to?it?yet.?Being?with?her?still?makes?me?feel?like?I’m?on?some?amusement?park?ride,?heart?pounding,?stomach?dropping.
“What?”?I?ask,?trying?to?huff?out?a?laugh,?but?I’m?the?worst?liar?in?the?world,?and?the?word?basically?comes?out?a?squawk.
Jude?is?really?close?to?me?now,?so?close?our?knees?bump?on?top?of?our?sleeping?bags.
“It’s?okay?if?you?want?to?admit?you?can’t?stand?being?away?from?me,”?she?teases,?and?I?go?to?shove?at?her,?but?she?catches?my?wrist,?tugging?me?closer?so?she?can?kiss?me.
Her?lips?taste?like?my?cherry-vanilla?lip?balm,?and?in?that?moment,?there’s?only?Jude?and?her?mouth?and?the?way?she?tucks?my?hair?behind?my?ears?as?she?kisses?me.
When?we?pull?apart,?she’s?smiling?at?me,?cheeks?pink,?our?legs?tangled?on?the?sleeping?bags.?“I’m?not?going?because?it’s?too?expensive,”?I?tell?her.?“Like?I?said.”
“They’d?give?you?a?scholarship,”?she?counters.?“You’re,?like,?the?smartest?person?in?our?school.”
“That’s?not?saying?much.”
My?high?school?isn’t?terrible?or?anything,?but?it’s?massive,?and?sometimes?my?classes?feel?more?like?an?exercise?in?crowd?control?than?anything?else.?That’s?part?of?why?I?started?looking?at?fancy?schools?far?away.
That?and?my?dad?taking?me?to?see?the?movie?Brave?when?I?was?ten.?And?the?fact?that?geology,?my?favorite?subject,?was?practically?invented?in?Scotland.?And?the?way?I?felt?when?I’d?looked?up?pictures?of?all?those?massive,?rocky?hills?surrounded?by?green,?like?something?out?of?a?fairy?tale.?There?was?this?one?place?called?Applecross?that?I—
Okay,?no.?No?more?thinking?about?that.?I’ve?made?up?my?mind?to?stay?because?even?though?I?got?in,?running?off?to?Scotland?is?insane,?right??And?not?a?thing?people?do.?I’ll?be?perfectly?happy?finishing?out?my?senior?year?at?Pecos?with?Jude?and?our?other?besties,?Darcy?and?Lee.?There?are?tons?of?good?colleges?here?in?Texas?that?I?can?get?into,?and?some?fancy?Scottish?boarding?school?won’t?count?for?more?than?my?killer?ACT?scores?and?awesome?GPA.?It’ll?be?fine.
But?Jude?is?still?watching?me?with?a?funny?look?on?her?face,?three?little?wrinkles?popping?up?over?her?nose.
“I’m?serious,?though,?Millie,”?she?says.?“If?this?is?about?me?or?us?.?.?.”
She?sighs,?her?breath?warm?on?my?face?and?smelling?like?that?lemon-mint?gum?she?always?has?on?her.
“It’s?not,”?I?tell?her?again,?pulling?a?thread?from?my?plaid?sleeping?bag.?“And?we’re?not?really?an?us,?anyway.?I?mean,?we?are?in?that?I’m?a?person,?and?you’re?a?person,?and?together,?that?makes?two?people,?which?means?the?common?grammatical?definition?of?‘us’?technically?fits,?but—”
Her?hand?clamps?over?my?mouth,?and?she?laughs.?“No?nervous-talky?Millie,”?she?says,?and?I?nod?behind?her?palm?with?a?muffled,?“Sorry.”?There’s?this?fun?thing?that?happens?sometimes?when?I?get?nervous?where?words?just?come?out,?but?not?in?the?right?order,?exactly,?and?half?the?time,?not?the?words?I?want?to?be?saying,?but?there?they?are?anyway,?a?flood?of?words?between?me?and?Jude,?yet?again.
But?when?she?drops?her?hand,?those?wrinkles?are?back.?“We?are?an?us,”?she?says,?reaching?out?to?twine?her?fingers?with?mine.?“Maybe?nobody?knows?we?are,?but?to?me,?I?feel?.?.?.?us-ish.”
Cheeks?hot,?I?squeeze?her?fingers?back.?“The?us-iest.”
Jude?reaches?over?to?fiddle?with?the?ends?of?my?hair?again.?“The?most?us?I’ve?ever?felt?with?anyone,”?she?says.
“More?us-y?than?with?Mason?”
The?words?are?out?before?I?even?have?time?to?think?about?them,?really,?and?I?immediately?wish?I?could?call?them?back.?Mason?is?Jude’s?ex,?the?boy?she’d?dated?since?freshman?year,?and?they?broke?up?last?spring.?Right?before?it?all?started?with?me?and?Jude.?Since?that?first?kiss,?sitting?on?the?floor?of?her?room?last?month,?we?haven’t?mentioned?Mason.?It’s?been?easy,?since?he’s?away?at?soccer?camp?or?something?for?part?of?the?summer,?but?sometimes?I?wonder?how?it’ll?be?when?he?comes?back.?I’ve?always?liked?Mason?even?if?I?am?head?over?heels?for?his?girlfriend,?but?there’s?no?doubt?things?have?been?easier?with?me?and?Jude?without?him?here.
Jude?flops?onto?her?back,?studying?the?ceiling?of?the?tent.?“Weren’t?we?kind?of?an?us?even?when?Mason?was?around?”
She?rolls?back?onto?her?side?to?face?me,?and?I?feel?my?cheeks?go?hot?again,?because?yeah,?we?were.?There?wasn’t?any?of?this?kissing?or?other?fun?stuff,?but?she?was?definitely?my?favorite?person?to?be?around.
“Maybe,”?I?acknowledge,?and?she?grins?before?draping?an?arm?over?my?waist.
Jude?kisses?me?again,?and?thoughts?about?Mason,?Scotland,?and?fancy?schools?with?unicorn?crests?vanish?in?the?warm?summer?air.