7 Ways to Bring a Dead Friendship Back to Life, Part1

1.社會聯(lián)系對健康至關(guān)重要

It might sound obvious, in the midst of a loneliness crisis, that having friends matters. But many of us “underestimate the very real impact our friendships can have on our life,” says Marisa Franco, a psychologist and author of Platonic: How The Science of Attachment Can Help You Make—and Keep—Friends.

?“Connection is the most important factor predicting our health, both?physical and mental.”

a loneliness crisis是指美國醫(yī)療總監(jiān)發(fā)布針對孤獨(dú)危機(jī)的報告，該報告指出社會聯(lián)系對個人健康與社會經(jīng)濟(jì)、安全等方面的重要性，并對利益相關(guān)者（shareholders）提出建議。

2.越來越多的研究表明健康穩(wěn)定的友誼有利于健康

A growing body of research supports that point: Healthy, stable friendships can protect against depression and anxiety, increase life satisfaction, extend longevity, and improve health metrics like blood pressure and body mass index.?

Friendships between men—or bromances—can provide an effective buffer against stress, and can even be more emotionally satisfying than romantic relationships.

3.無穩(wěn)定社會關(guān)系的人會面臨更多健康風(fēng)險

Those who don’t have strong social connections, meanwhile, have an elevated risk of heart disease and stroke, Type 2 diabetes, depression, anxiety, addiction, and dementia. Some research suggests that loneliness is twice as harmful to physical and mental health as obesity.?

It’s concerning, then, that over the past few years, adult friendships have been on the decline, with men suffering the most: In one survey, 15% of men said they had no close friends at all, a?fivefold?increase since 1990.

fivefold 五倍的

最后一句話也稍微解釋了為什么上一段專門把“男性友誼”挑出來說。

4.質(zhì)量勝于數(shù)量

While many people assume it’s the number of friends that count, research indicates that quality is more important—and having even a small selection of close friends is a stronger predictor of happiness than having lots of casual connections.?

Plus,?those who think friendships happen organically are lonelier five years later than those who understand that platonic bonds take work.

改成更好理解的順序：Those who think friendships happen organically?are lonelier than?those who understand that platonic bonds take work?five years later.

5.除了交新朋友，讓已有的友誼重燃

Yet often people who feel disconnected focus on making new friends instead of nurturing existing connections. “There can be this feeling of, ‘I need to look elsewhere. I need to start a whole new circle of friends,’” says Miriam Kirmayer, a clinical psychologist who studies the science of friendship.?

“Sometimes?there’s truth to that, but for many people, it’s helpful to think about the friendships we already have in our lives. Even if they feel a little stale, there are ways we can revive them.”

there’s truth to that，to容易考完型。

6.讓友誼煥發(fā)新生的方法

We asked experts to share their favorite ways to strengthen friendships and breathe new life into old bonds.

Consistently invest time.

7.抽時間陪伴朋友很重要

Making time for the people we care about and having shared experiences plays an essential role in deepening friendships.?

Research suggests that it takes about 50 hours of time together to transform from acquaintances to casual friends, 90 hours to become regular friends, and more than 200 hours to solidify a best friendship.

8.待辦清單上劃出維系關(guān)系區(qū)

Laura Tremaine figured out a solution after constantly “dropping the ball” on putting in time and effort with her friends. She would forget to wish them a happy birthday or go three months without returning a call.?

So she started adding a section for connection at the bottom of her to-do list, underneath her work tasks and family-oriented chores.?

“I just write down a few things, like ‘check if Bri is feeling better,’” says Tremaine, author of books including The Life Council: 10 Friends Every Woman Needs. “And when I started to be more consistent, my friends noticed.”

drop the ball 疏忽，失誤

Add more positivity.

9.積極不是正能量，而是讓朋友感到愛、支持與包容

One way to grow any relationship is to foster positivity, which has to do with the way we leave each other feeling, says Shasta Nelson, the author of books including Friendships Don’t Just Happen.?

“It’s not always about saying positive things,” she clarifies. “It’s about leaving the other person feeling loved, supported, and accepted, and you walking away feeling loved, supported, and accepted.”

10.提供肯定、鼓勵與歡笑

Often, this means using words of affirmation, giving our friends compliments, and making them laugh. If you’re feeling tired or depressed, or are in a bad mood, don’t feel pressure to entertain your friends or force jokes.?

Be open about how you’re feeling, and give them permission??to feel differently while expressing curiosity, Nelson suggests.?For example, you might acknowledge that you’ve been glum lately, and then note that you saw Instagram pictures of your friend hiking.?

Ask them to tell you all about it.?Showing interest and asking questions helps promote positivity, even when that runs counter to your mood.?“The goal is for our friends to walk away from us feeling better about themselves?and their lives for having been in?our?presence,” she?says.

glum 郁悶的
run counter to 背道而馳，相反

歡迎指正，感謝閱讀。