原標(biāo)題：Is Madeline Canonically Trans?

原文出處：https://www.maddymakesgames.com/articles/is_maddy_trans/index.html

作者：Madeline Stephanie Thorson (a.k.a. Maddy Thorson)

發(fā)表時(shí)間：2020年11月5日

Well, yeah, of course she is.

嗯，是的，她當(dāng)然是。

This feels painfully obvious to a lot of (mostly trans) people, and likewise it feels painfully obvious to me too, in retrospect. It has also become painfully obvious to me that I, myself, am trans. But these are things that I was not aware of during the development of Celeste, where I was writing Madeline and speaking from her perspective. Creating Celeste with my friends helped me reach the point where I could realize this truth about myself. During Celeste’s development, I did not know that Madeline or myself were trans. During the Farewell DLC’s development, I began to form a hunch. Post-development, I now know that we both are.

這對(duì)很多人（主要是跨性別者）來(lái)說(shuō)感覺(jué)很痛苦，同樣，對(duì)我來(lái)說(shuō)，回想起來(lái)也感覺(jué)很痛苦。因?yàn)槲易约阂彩强缧詣e者，所以這對(duì)我來(lái)說(shuō)變得格外痛苦。但這些都是我在創(chuàng)作蔚藍(lán)，創(chuàng)作Madeline，并以她的視角說(shuō)話時(shí)沒(méi)有意識(shí)到的。與我的朋友一起創(chuàng)作蔚藍(lán)幫助了我意識(shí)到關(guān)于自己的這一真相。在蔚藍(lán)的開(kāi)發(fā)過(guò)程中，我不知道Madeline和我自己是跨性別者。在第九章告別DLC的開(kāi)發(fā)過(guò)程中，我開(kāi)始形成一種預(yù)感。開(kāi)發(fā)完成之后，我現(xiàn)在知道我和Madeline都是跨性別者。

And my gender identity still isn’t all “figured out” by any means. The Celeste community has wanted clarification on Madeline’s identity for a long time now, and I don’t blame anyone for wanting that, but the messy realities of my gender identity and coming out have meant that I needed time before I could talk openly about it.

而我的性別認(rèn)同仍然沒(méi)有完全 "搞清楚"。蔚藍(lán)社區(qū)希望澄清Madeline的身份已經(jīng)有很長(zhǎng)一段時(shí)間了，我不怪任何人想要這樣做，但我的性別認(rèn)同和出柜的混亂現(xiàn)實(shí)意味著我需要時(shí)間才能公開(kāi)談?wù)撍?/span>

Okay, let’s get into the weeds on this.

好吧，讓我們來(lái)討論一下這個(gè)問(wèn)題。

Was Madeline’s transness left intentionally vague in order to make her story more relatable to cis people?

Madeline的跨性別者身份是故意模糊其辭，以使她的故事更容易被順性別者所接受嗎？

This wasn’t our intention. Thinking about it though, it begs the question: Why couldn’t a cis person relate to a trans person? Modern trans struggle might be unique in its details, but it is definitely not alien to the human condition. We are people.

這不是我們的本意。不過(guò)想想看，這提出了一個(gè)問(wèn)題：為什么順性別者不能與跨性別者共情？現(xiàn)代跨性別者的難處在細(xì)節(jié)上可能是獨(dú)特的，但絕對(duì)不應(yīng)當(dāng)作人的異類。我們都是人。

When I wrote Celeste I sincerely still believed that I was cisgender, but I was nevertheless waist-deep in gender feelings (among other anxieties). When Madeline looks in the mirror and sees her other self; when she attempts to abandon her reflection, who then drags her down the mountain; when the two reconcile and merge to become stronger and more complete… that was all unknowingly written from a trans perspective. So maybe if you’re a cis person and you personally relate to Madeline, you shouldn’t feel like we pulled one over on you. Instead, you could take this as evidence that trans and cis feelings aren’t so different, that the chasm between transness and cisness isn’t such a wide gulf, and that most of the ways that trans existence is alien to you are the result of unjust social othering and oppression.

在我寫(xiě)蔚藍(lán)時(shí)，我從心底認(rèn)為自己是順性別者，但我還是腰纏萬(wàn)貫地沉浸在性別感受中（還有其他焦慮）。當(dāng)Madeline照鏡子看到另一個(gè)自己時(shí)；當(dāng)她試圖拋棄她的影子，而影子又把她拖下山時(shí)；當(dāng)兩人和解并融合，變得更強(qiáng)大、更完整時(shí)......這些都是在不知不覺(jué)中從跨性別的角度寫(xiě)的。因此，如果你是一個(gè)順性別者，并且你個(gè)人與Madeline有關(guān)，你不應(yīng)該覺(jué)得我們?cè)谀闵砩献隽耸裁?。相反，你可以把這作為證據(jù)，證明跨性別和順性別的感覺(jué)并不那么不同，跨性別和順性別之間的鴻溝并不那么大，而且跨性別的存在對(duì)你來(lái)說(shuō)像人的異類一樣，很大程度是不公正的社會(huì)他者化和壓迫的結(jié)果。

If you got something out of Celeste, and now you’re thinking that Madeline being trans ruins that for you, I would take that as a sign that you have some transphobic beliefs to work through.

如果你從蔚藍(lán)得到了一些東西，而且認(rèn)為Madeline成為一個(gè)跨性別者毀掉了你得到的這些，我會(huì)認(rèn)為這是一個(gè)表明你有一些跨性別的觀念需要解決的跡象。

Here’s something that definitely isn’t true: The reason trans representation is important is because human beings can only relate to characters who are identical to themselves, and any gains in trans representation come with an equal loss for cis folks. That’s ridiculous, and actually the opposite is true. People need to see and feel the experience of those different from themselves, especially from less-privileged groups who they share society with but wield outsize and often invisible power over. Trans folks, and other marginalized groups, have a lot to teach that will help everyone. If you’re cis and Celeste helped you, that’s awesome! That simply means that you learned something about yourself from a trans story.

以下是一些絕對(duì)不正確的觀點(diǎn)：跨性別者的呈現(xiàn)之所以重要，是因?yàn)槿祟愔荒芘c那些與自己一模一樣的角色共情，而在跨性別者呈現(xiàn)方面的任何收獲，都會(huì)給順性別者帶來(lái)等價(jià)的損失。

這很荒唐，實(shí)際上事實(shí)恰恰相反。人們需要看到和感受那些與自己不同的人的經(jīng)歷，特別是那些與他們共同生活在社會(huì)中但卻擁有巨大的、往往是無(wú)形的權(quán)力的弱勢(shì)群體?？缧詣e者和其他被邊緣化的群體，有很多東西可以教給大家。如果你是順性別者，而蔚藍(lán)幫助了你，那真是太棒了！這僅僅意味著你從一個(gè)跨性別者的故事中了解了自己。

Better representation benefits everyone. Well, unless you’re profiting off of the suffering of trans people, in which case fuck you.

更好的呈現(xiàn)對(duì)于所有人有益，除非你的利益建立在跨性別者的痛苦之上。如果你是這樣的，cnm。

Why isn’t Madeline's transness explicitly confirmed in the text of the game?

為什么在游戲的文本中沒(méi)有明確確認(rèn)Madeline的跨性別身份？

There is, as they say, a lot to unpack here. I don’t know that I have a satisfactory reply to this question that will tie it all up with a bow. The best that I can do is be transparent, and help you understand where we were coming from. I don’t believe that this is a simple question, and there isn’t a straightforward answer.

正如他們所說(shuō)，這里有很多東西需要解讀。我不知道怎么給這個(gè)問(wèn)題一個(gè)令人滿意的答復(fù)，可以把這些東西一下就都講明白。我所能做的最好的事情就是保持真誠(chéng)，并幫助你理解我們的出發(fā)點(diǎn)。我相信這不是個(gè)簡(jiǎn)單的問(wèn)題，也沒(méi)有一個(gè)直接的答案。

We understand that some fans felt hurt by our silence on this after Farewell’s release, and I’m sorry for that. It’s wrapped up in my personal gender identity and it’s messy! I simply didn’t know the words until now.

我們理解一些粉絲對(duì)我們?cè)诘诰耪掳l(fā)行后對(duì)此事保持沉默感到受傷，對(duì)此我很抱歉。它被包裹在我個(gè)人的性別認(rèn)同中，而且很混亂！我只是直到現(xiàn)在才知道怎么表達(dá)出來(lái)。

I mentioned earlier that I didn’t know that Madeline was trans during the development of Celeste, and that I had a hunch when we made Farewell. That was a gradual thing. As time went on post-launch, my personal understanding of Madeline shifted from “maybe she’s trans” to “okay she’s definitely trans”.

我在前面提到過(guò)，在蔚藍(lán)的開(kāi)發(fā)過(guò)程中，我不知道Madeline是變性人，而在我們做第九章時(shí)，我才有一種預(yù)感。那是一件漸進(jìn)的事情。游戲上線后，隨著時(shí)間的推移，我個(gè)人對(duì)Madeline的理解從 "也許她是跨性別者?"轉(zhuǎn)變?yōu)?"好吧，她肯定是跨性別者"。

We discussed this when writing Farewell, and our conclusion was that we wanted to afford Madeline privacy. That yes, maybe she was trans, but that it really wasn’t any of ours or the player’s business. She is a woman, a human being, and that’s all we need to know until she decides that she wants to tell us more. She didn’t strike us as a person who would publicly identify as trans, certainly not before the events of the main game. We felt that hints, like those in the Farewell ending sequence and on Theo’s InstaPix account, would be more appropriate for her character. I feel conflicted even now while writing this, effectively outing her, because it doesn’t feel entirely fair to her. It’s the same consideration that I would want to be shown to me.

我們?cè)谥谱鞯诰耪聲r(shí)討論了這個(gè)問(wèn)題，而我們的結(jié)論是，我們想給Madeline提供隱私。是的，也許她是跨性別者，但這真的不關(guān)我們或玩家的事。她是一個(gè)女人，一個(gè)人類，這就是我們需要知道的，直到她決定要告訴我們更多。我們并不覺(jué)得她是一個(gè)會(huì)公開(kāi)表露跨性別身份的人，更不可能在主劇情中就表露出來(lái)。我們覺(jué)得，像第九章告別結(jié)局中的和Theo的InstaPix賬戶中的暗示，對(duì)她的角色來(lái)說(shuō)更合適。即使現(xiàn)在在寫(xiě)這篇文章，將她暴露得這么徹底時(shí)，我也感到很矛盾，因?yàn)檫@對(duì)她來(lái)說(shuō)感覺(jué)并不完全公平。這也是我希望別人對(duì)我的考慮。

But, of course, Madeline is a fictional character and we are her authors. People have rightly pointed out that there are questions we should consider about what harm we might be doing by “hiding” her identity. But we also considered what harm we would be doing by signaling to players that they are entitled to know whether she is trans, and that it is a vitally important detail worth agonizing over. Trans people shouldn’t be forced to publicly identify as trans in a world that is often hostile to them, and they shouldn’t be reduced to their transness. They should be allowed to live their lives how they want, and everyone should be free to explore their gender identity without feeling pressure to place themselves into simplistic categories for the benefit of others.

不過(guò)，Madeline當(dāng)然是一個(gè)虛構(gòu)的人物，而我們是她的作者。人們正確地指出了我們應(yīng)該考慮“隱藏”她的身份可能會(huì)造成什么傷害的問(wèn)題，但我們還考慮到了如果我們向玩家發(fā)出信號(hào)，讓他們有權(quán)知道她是否是跨性別者（而且這是一個(gè)極其重要的值得深思熟慮的細(xì)節(jié)），我們會(huì)造成什么危害?？缧詣e者不應(yīng)該被迫在一個(gè)經(jīng)常對(duì)他們有敵意的世界中公開(kāi)承認(rèn)自己是跨性別者，他們也不應(yīng)該被貶低為跨性別者。他們應(yīng)該被允許以自己想要的方式生活，每個(gè)人都應(yīng)該自由地探索自己的性別認(rèn)同，而不必為了他人的利益而感到壓力將自己放入簡(jiǎn)單的類別。

We definitely didn’t want it to be a big climactic thing. We didn’t want it to be like Samus removing her helmet at the end of Metroid to reveal that — surprise! — you were a trans woman all along. That kind of thing just feels like a cheap gimmick in this context. It doesn’t feel like it pays enough respect to Madeline, her story, or real life trans folks and the scrutiny they endure.

我們絕對(duì)不希望它去當(dāng)一個(gè)大的高潮。我們不希望它像Metroid結(jié)尾處一樣，Samus摘下頭盔，揭示出——驚喜！你一直都是個(gè)跨性別女性。在這種情況下，這種事情感覺(jué)像是一個(gè)廉價(jià)的噱頭。這感覺(jué)不像是對(duì)Madeline、她的故事或現(xiàn)實(shí)生活中的跨性別者以及他們所遭受的審查給予了足夠的尊重。

We also didn’t want to pull a JK Rowling and start inserting details post hoc that might feel insincere or forced. Like sure, whatever you say lady, Dumbledore is gay… it’s convenient that this was never mentioned in the books or carried any weight in the plot. In Celeste, I would argue that Madeline’s transness is meaningfully intertwined with her story, but the base game was subtle about Madeline’s identity and feelings (in part because I wasn’t fully conscious of them), and their metaphorical connection to the gameplay. We preferred continuing that mode of communication over saying “yep, she’s a trans.”

我們也不想像JK羅琳那樣，在事后開(kāi)始插入一些感覺(jué)不真誠(chéng)或被迫的細(xì)節(jié)。就像，不論女士你怎么說(shuō)，鄧布利多是同性戀......這很方便，因?yàn)闀?shū)中從來(lái)沒(méi)有提到過(guò)這一點(diǎn)，也沒(méi)有在情節(jié)中占有任何分量。在蔚藍(lán)里，我認(rèn)為Madeline的跨性別與她的故事有意義地交織在一起，但主劇情和Madeline的身份以及感受聯(lián)系很?。ú糠衷蚴俏覜](méi)有完全意識(shí)到這些）。她的身份和感受與gameplay的隱喻聯(lián)系也很小。我們更愿意繼續(xù)這種溝通方式，而不是說(shuō) "是的，她是個(gè)跨性別者"。

From where we were standing, it felt like the right decision was a light touch, a nod to everyone who had picked up on it that could allow them to discuss the ways that they identified with Madeline more openly, without making a spectacle of outing her. Amora worked with Lena and a few trans friends on the small details that we placed in Madeline’s room for the Farewell ending scene. People noticed right away, to our delight.

從我們所處的位置來(lái)看，我們感覺(jué)正確的決定是輕描淡寫(xiě)，向每個(gè)人點(diǎn)頭示意使他們更公開(kāi)地討論他們認(rèn)同Madeline的方式，而不至于讓她表露得太明顯。Amora與Lena和幾個(gè)變性人朋友合作在Madeline的房間里放置了一些小細(xì)節(jié)，用于告別結(jié)局的場(chǎng)景。人們馬上就注意到了，這讓我們很高興。

To be clear, we don’t believe that explicit trans representation in media is harmful as a blanket judgement. Remember: We were coming from a position of the base game already existing, where I didn’t consciously write Madeline as trans but I was beginning to slowly realize that she and her story were, nonetheless, trans. Navigating how to address that in Farewell is a very different task to planning from scratch how a character’s identity will be introduced and portrayed.

要明確的是，我們不認(rèn)為媒介中包含顯著的跨性別呈現(xiàn)是有害的，認(rèn)為這有害是籠統(tǒng)的判斷。請(qǐng)記住：我們是從已經(jīng)存在的基本游戲的立場(chǎng)出發(fā)的，我沒(méi)有故意把Madeline寫(xiě)成跨性別者，但我開(kāi)始慢慢意識(shí)到她和她的故事是跨性別的，盡管如此。如何在第九章中解決這個(gè)問(wèn)題，與從頭開(kāi)始計(jì)劃如何介紹和描繪一個(gè)角色的身份，是一個(gè)非常不同的任務(wù)。

We hoped that the general take-away from Farewell’s breadcrumb trail could be that trans people can exist, and their perspectives are valuable. They can interact with and be relatable to cis people and it doesn’t have to be a big deal. We don’t need to know upfront or at all whether everyone is trans or cis. And we hoped that our trans and questioning fans could relate to and discuss Madeline’s story on their own terms more easily, and feel vindicated.

我們希望人們從第九章這些芝麻點(diǎn)般的線索中能得到的普遍啟示是：跨性別者可以存在，他們的觀點(diǎn)也是有價(jià)值的。他們既可以與順性別者互動(dòng)也可以共情，這不存在很大問(wèn)題。我們不需要預(yù)先知道或根本不需要知道每個(gè)人是跨性別者還是順性別者。我們希望，我們的跨性別者粉絲和質(zhì)疑我們的粉絲都可以更好地以他們自己的方式理解Madeline，討論Madeline的故事，而沒(méi)有罪惡感。

Of course, we underestimated how much anything less than a full, in-writing confirmation will be endlessly debated as “not enough proof,” to which I ask, where’s the proof that she’s cis?

當(dāng)然，我們沒(méi)想到任何不是全面書(shū)面確認(rèn)的東西都會(huì)被這樣無(wú)休止地爭(zhēng)論為 "證據(jù)不足"，對(duì)此我想問(wèn)，那她是順性別者的證據(jù)在哪里呢？

If I could start over from the beginning of Celeste’s development, knowing everything about myself and Madeline that I know now, would I write her differently? Yeah, probably. I didn’t go into this game intending to make a trans story and I would understand my own gender a lot better than I did, that’s for sure. But then again, I’m a very different person and Celeste wouldn’t be the same game. For my part, Celeste is about who I was, which includes that struggle for understanding.

如果我可以從蔚藍(lán)的開(kāi)發(fā)之初重新開(kāi)始，了解我自己和Madeline現(xiàn)在所知道的一切，我會(huì)以不同的方式寫(xiě)她嗎？是的，可能會(huì)?？隙ǖ氖牵易鲞@個(gè)游戲的目的并不是要做一個(gè)跨性別者的故事，而且我對(duì)自己的性別的理解會(huì)比以前好很多。但話說(shuō)回來(lái)，我是一個(gè)非常不同的人，重新開(kāi)始會(huì)讓蔚藍(lán)不是同一個(gè)游戲。就我而言，蔚藍(lán)是關(guān)于我是誰(shuí)的故事，其中包括那種為理解而掙扎的過(guò)程。

Heck, if we’re time travelling now, I think that most trans people would understand if I have bigger fish to fry as far as getting a redo on major life events with a better understanding of my gender.

哎，如果我們現(xiàn)在進(jìn)行時(shí)間旅行，我想大多數(shù)跨性別者都能理解我會(huì)有更好的事情做，會(huì)在對(duì)我的性別有更好的理解的情況下重做人生大事件。

Celeste is a game written and designed by a closeted trans person who was struggling with their gender identity, scored by a trans woman, with art and code and sound and other labor from their inspiring and irreplaceable friends. These are the perspectives that we approached this from, and I think that the game reflects that beautifully. I would never claim that anything I have ever done is perfect. I do think that we captured and preserved a few pieces of ourselves and a moment in time pretty nicely, and Madeline’s transness is one part of that.

蔚藍(lán)是由一個(gè)與自己的性別認(rèn)同作斗爭(zhēng)的隱秘的跨性別者編寫(xiě)和設(shè)計(jì)的游戲，由一個(gè)跨性別女性配樂(lè)，還有來(lái)自他們鼓舞人心和不可替代的朋友的藝術(shù)、代碼、聲音和其他工作。這些都是我們處理這個(gè)問(wèn)題的角度，我認(rèn)為這個(gè)游戲很好地反映了這一點(diǎn)。我永遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)聲稱我所做的任何事情是完美的。不過(guò)我確實(shí)認(rèn)為，我們很好地捕捉并保存了我們自己的一些片段和時(shí)間上的一個(gè)時(shí)刻，而Madeline的跨性別身份是其中的一個(gè)部分。

Thank you so much for playing Celeste, and for caring about Madeline’s story.

非常感謝你游玩蔚藍(lán)，以及你對(duì)Madeline故事的關(guān)心。

With love
? Maddy