按照美國(guó)政治傳統(tǒng)，即將離任的美國(guó)總統(tǒng)會(huì)把手寫的信件放在堅(jiān)決桌的信封里，留給他們的繼任者。這些都是親切的，鼓勵(lì)的，甚至是和解的，特別是當(dāng)新總統(tǒng)擊敗舊總統(tǒng)的時(shí)候。在一次特別有爭(zhēng)議的競(jìng)選之后，喬治·赫伯特·沃克·布什給比爾克林頓寫了一封感人的信: 你現(xiàn)在的成功就是我們國(guó)家的成功。我會(huì)全力支持你的?！?/span>

唐納德 · 特朗普(Donald Trump)曾表示，他不會(huì)給喬 · 拜登(Joe Biden)留便條，但在我寫這篇文章的時(shí)候，就在就職典禮前夕，拜登的白宮透露，他（特朗普）留了便條。他們沒有透露具體內(nèi)容。我想我知道:

Dear Sleepy Joe, Crazy Joe, Quid Pro Joe, Joe Hidin’, Joe Blow, Joey Baloney, Joseph Corrosive, Skinny Joe Pipsqueak, Jojo Rabbit Poop, Joey Hairplugs, Squinty Joe, Joe the Dumber, Dela-Where-The-Heck Am-I Joe, Ernesto ‘Joe’ Guevara, ?Joe Bidet, Kamala Harris Jr., Joey No-Cojone, Mr. Pale Fail, The Schmoozer Loser, Metamucil Joe, Twenty-Fifth Joemendment, The Senile Implant, Four-Toed-Cane Joey, Coma Joe, Joe Feeb, Joe Dillweed, Hairsniff S. Truman, Joe Doodyhead, Joe Dork, Mister Doctor Jill Biden, Joe Yellow Dentures, Clueless Joe Jackson:

“親愛的愛打瞌睡的喬、瘋狂的喬、利益交換的喬、騙人的喬、吹牛的喬、胡扯的喬、腐敗的喬、病弱的喬、兔屎的喬、禿頂?shù)膯獭⑿毖鄣膯?、啞巴的喬、傻缺的喬、竊格瓦拉的喬、馬桶的喬、卡瑪拉哈里斯之子、不可信的喬、失敗的喬、交際手腕高明的喬，吃瀉藥的喬，有第二十五約會(huì)的喬，老年癡癡呆的喬，四趾像藤條一樣的喬，萎靡不振的喬伊，低能兒一樣的喬，發(fā)臭的土茴香一樣的喬，像杜魯門那樣失敗的喬，裝有大便腦袋的喬，假牙發(fā)黃的喬，一無所知的喬：

Congradulations. Melania said I had to right this letter myself in my own handwritting and I have to be nice even though this is the GREATEST FRUD in the History of Human Elections. You are BAD.

祝賀你。梅拉尼婭說，我必須自己在手寫中正確地寫下這封信，盡管這是人類選舉史上最偉大的仇怨，但我必須表現(xiàn)得友好。你這個(gè)家伙太壞了。

Melania said I have to say you are ‘good,’ but I won’t capitolize it, so you be the judge of what I think. Also I forgot some nicknames up above. You are also Joe JustBidenTimeTillTrumpReturns. And Joe Mama So Fat. You are a FAKE president, and everyone knows it. Suitcases full of ballots, polling places swarmed by ZOMBIES and ghosts, ballots mailed in from Kenya by Obama, people voting 12 times in different costumes with fake noses, believe me the most UNFAIR AND CORRUPT election EVER! I won by 220 million votes, MINNIMUM.

梅拉尼婭說我必須說你是‘好’的，但是我不會(huì)讓步，希望你看看我的話。我還忘了上面的一些昵稱。你也是‘在特朗普回來之前只有拜登時(shí)間的喬’。另外啊，你老婆也太肥了！你是個(gè)假總統(tǒng)，大家都知道，你手提箱里裝滿了選票，投票站里擠滿了僵尸和鬼魂，奧巴馬還從肯尼亞郵寄來的選票。人們穿著不同的服裝、戴著假鼻子投票12次—— 相信我，這是有史以來最不公平和最腐敗的選舉！而我至少贏得了2.2億張選票。

Okay, Melania says to calm down and she will hand-write the next paragraph. So here she goes:Bill, your success now is our country’s success. I am rooting hard for you.

好吧，梅拉尼婭說冷靜下來，她會(huì)親手寫下一段，她這樣寫道:比爾，你現(xiàn)在的成功就是我們國(guó)家的成功。我會(huì)全力支持你的！

Okay, I am back and have calmed down. I don’t want to make this all negative so let me just say in the noble tradition of former Republican presidents who won but got the election stolen from them by Democraps I want to say sincerely that I wish you good luck, which you will really need because your brain rot is so BAD you can SMELL it coming from your ears and you will BE SO NAMBYPAMBY you will put everyone on WELFAIR even Bill Gates and Jeff Bezos who owns the failing Washington Post and the failing Canada.

“好了，我回到家冷靜下來了。我不想把這些都說成是負(fù)面的，所以讓我說，按照共和黨前總統(tǒng)的崇高傳統(tǒng)，他們贏得了選舉，但卻被民主黨人偷走了選舉。我想真誠地說，我祝你們好運(yùn)，這是你真正需要的，因?yàn)槟愕拇竽X腐爛得很厲害，你可以從耳朵里聞到它的氣味，你會(huì)很納悶的。你會(huì)把所有人都放到福利會(huì)上，甚至比爾·蓋茨和杰夫·貝佐斯，盡管他們擁有失敗的《華盛頓郵報(bào)》和失敗的加拿大。

Okay, that’s about it. You may have noticed certain problems with your ‘transition’ including that some pens smell funny. Don’t worry about it. I definately did not do anything bad with them, and also your bed. I definitely did not hire any professionals to do anything on them.

好吧，就這樣。你可能已經(jīng)注意到你的“過渡”的某些問題，包括一些鋼筆聞起來很奇怪，但別擔(dān)心，我肯定沒有對(duì)他們做什么壞事。還有你的床，我絕對(duì)沒有雇傭任何專業(yè)人員來對(duì)它做任何事情。

In closing let me note that my signature is bigger than your signature.

最后，請(qǐng)?jiān)试S我指出，我的簽名比你的簽名大。