分手后還可不可以和前任繼續(xù)做朋友？有些人認(rèn)為一段感情結(jié)束后，最好和前任一刀兩斷；而另一些人則認(rèn)為這樣做未免過(guò)于極端。本期 “隨身英語(yǔ)” 圍繞能否與前任維持友誼這個(gè)話(huà)題展開(kāi)討論。

詞匯：love and friendship 愛(ài)情與友誼

Breaking up?is hard to do – or so some people say. If you’re in a?relationship?but not as?loved-up?as you once were, when is the right time to?call it a day? The longer the relationship, the harder it can be. But once you do make the break, is it still possible to maintain a?friendship?with your ex-partner?

分手很難——至少有些人是這么說(shuō)的。如果你正在談戀愛(ài)，但不像以前那樣熱戀，什么時(shí)候是結(jié)束戀情的最佳時(shí)間?關(guān)系越長(zhǎng)，就越困難。但是一旦你分手了，還有可能和你的前任保持友誼嗎?

When you’ve been?dumped, the classic line that’s often used is ‘let’s just be friends’. That can be either?wishful thinking?or something to soften the blow of bad news. However, when you?fell?madly?in love?with your partner all those weeks, months or years ago, it would have been hard to imagine you’d fall out of love. And so salvaging something from that time, and remaining friends, could be a good thing to do.

當(dāng)你被甩的時(shí)候，常用的經(jīng)典臺(tái)詞是“我們還是做朋友吧”。這可能是一廂情愿的想法，也可能是為了緩解壞消息帶來(lái)的打擊。然而，當(dāng)你在幾周、幾個(gè)月或幾年前瘋狂地愛(ài)上你的伴侶時(shí)，很難想象你會(huì)失去愛(ài)。因此，從那個(gè)時(shí)代打撈一些東西，并保持朋友，可能是一件好事。

It’s good if a break-up is?amicable?– it avoids the hate, pain and anger that can eat away at us and affect our mental health. If you can accept you’ve had some good times but it’s time to?move on, then all the better – besides, you won’t have to cancel your ex-partner from social media or delete their name from your contacts! If you can appreciate the?mutual?interests you had then there’s no reason why you can’t continue a?platonic?relationship.

如果分手是友好的，那是好的——它可以避免仇恨、痛苦和憤怒，這些會(huì)吞噬我們，影響我們的心理健康。如果你能接受你有過(guò)一些美好的時(shí)光，但現(xiàn)在是時(shí)候向前看了，那就更好了——此外，你不必在社交媒體上取消你的前伴侶，也不必從你的聯(lián)系人中刪除他們的名字!如果你能欣賞你們擁有的共同利益，那么你沒(méi)有理由不能繼續(xù)一段柏拉圖式的關(guān)系。

But holding onto the past and staying friends doesn’t always work – you just have to accept you and your partner just weren’t?compatible, therefore it’s best to give each other space, to look forward, and try to get any?romantic?feelings you once had?out of your system. And according to some, staying friends with your ex isn’t a good option. Marie-Claire Chappet told the BBC, “It does nothing but prolong the pain of the break-up”.

但是沉溺于過(guò)去和保持朋友關(guān)系并不總是有用的——你只需要接受你和你的伴侶不兼容，因此最好給對(duì)方空間，向前看，并試著把你曾經(jīng)擁有的浪漫感覺(jué)從你的系統(tǒng)中釋放出來(lái)。根據(jù)一些人的說(shuō)法，和前任保持朋友關(guān)系并不是一個(gè)好選擇。Marie-Claire Chappet告訴BBC，“這只會(huì)延長(zhǎng)分手的痛苦?！?/p>

Helen Fisher, a neurologist at the Kinsey Institute who’s been studying the psychology in relationships, also told the BBC: “The way to accelerate mending a?broken heart?is similar to treating addiction – you put away their things, stop looking at their social media and have no contact with them.”

金賽研究所(Kinsey Institute)的神經(jīng)學(xué)家海倫·費(fèi)舍爾(Helen Fisher)一直在研究人際關(guān)系心理學(xué)，她告訴BBC:“加速破碎的心愈合的方法類(lèi)似于治療成癮——你把他們的東西收起來(lái)，不再看他們的社交媒體，不和他們保持聯(lián)系?！?/p>

So, maybe it’s time to get in touch with your real friends, instead of seeking friendship with ‘a(chǎn) ghost from the past’.

所以，也許是時(shí)候和你真正的朋友聯(lián)系了，而不是和“過(guò)去的鬼魂”交朋友。

詞匯表

break up 分手
relationship 戀愛(ài)關(guān)系
loved-up 恩愛(ài)的
call it a day 結(jié)束，到此為止
friendship 友誼
dump 甩掉（戀人）
wishful thinking 一廂情愿
fall in love 墜入愛(ài)河
amicable 不傷和氣的
move on 接受（分手的）現(xiàn)實(shí)，向前看
mutual 共同的
platonic （柏拉圖式）純精神友誼的
compatible 合得來(lái)，適合彼此
romantic 與愛(ài)情相關(guān)的，浪漫的
out of your system 擺脫，趕走
broken heart “心碎”

測(cè)驗(yàn)與練習(xí)

1.?閱讀課文并回答問(wèn)題。

1. What line is often used to soften the disappointment of being dumped?

2. According to the article, what might the benefits of staying friends with an ex-partner be?

3. True or false??It’s always possible to have some kind of friendship with your ex-partner.

4. Who could you contact after a relationship has finished?

5. According to expert Helen Fisher, what should you stop doing if you’re trying to get over a relationship?

2.?選擇意思恰當(dāng)?shù)膯卧~或詞組來(lái)完成下列句子。

1. We’ve tried to fix the car but it’s still not working, I think it’s time to _______.

call a day??????????????? call it’s a day? ?????????? call it a day??????????????? call it the day

2. It’s time to _______ – we’ve done enough work on this project today.

fell in love ??????????????call it a day? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? break-up? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? out of your system

3.?It’s been three years since I broke up with my ex-girlfriend. I think I’m finally ready to _______.

dump? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?out of my system? ? ? ? move on? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?loved-up

4. After an?_______ divorce, we’ve decided to meet up for coffee every now and then.

amicable ????????????????romantic? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? compatible?????????????? ? ?dumped

5. Access to the canal was agreed by _______ agreement between the two countries.

compatible? ? ? ? ? ? ? platonic? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? mutual? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? loved-up

答案

1.?閱讀課文并回答問(wèn)題。

1. What line is often used to soften the disappointment of being dumped?
The classic line ‘let’s just be friends’ is often used to soften the blow of being dumped.

2. According to the article, what might the benefits of staying friends with an ex-partner be?
You won’t have to cancel your ex-partner from social media or delete their name from your contacts and you can still appreciate the mutual interests you once had.

3. True or false??It’s always possible to have some kind of friendship with your ex-partner.
False. Holding onto the past and staying friends doesn’t always work.

4. Who could you contact after a relationship has finished?
Maybe it’s time to get in touch with your real friends.

5. According to expert Helen Fisher, what should you stop doing if you’re trying to get over a relationship?
She says you should stop looking at their social media and have no contact with them.

2.?選擇意思恰當(dāng)?shù)膯卧~或詞組來(lái)完成下列句子。

1. We’ve tried to fix the car but it’s still not working, I think it’s time to?call it a day.

2. It’s time to?call it a day?– we’ve done enough work on this project today.

3. It’s been three years since I broke up with my ex-girlfriend. I think I’m finally ready to?move on.

4. After an?amicable?divorce, we’ve decided to meet up for coffee every now and then.

5. Access to the canal was agreed by?mutual?agreement between the two countries.

文章來(lái)源BBC侵權(quán)刪。