中英文稿

我們年輕時(shí)就像初生牛犢，?無畏地夢想著 我們的人生可能會是什么樣。?或許你想成為宇航員 或是火箭科學(xué)家。?或許你的夢想是 環(huán)游世界的旅行。?我從很小的時(shí)候，?就夢想在世界上?某些最困難的國家里 為聯(lián)合國工作。?憑借很大的勇氣，?我的夢想成真了。

但關(guān)于勇氣的問題是：?它并不會在我們需要它 的時(shí)候憑空出現(xiàn)。?它是堅(jiān)韌不移的反思 和腳踏實(shí)地的努力的結(jié)果，?需要恐懼和勇敢之間的平衡。?沒有恐懼，我們會做蠢事。?而沒有勇氣， 我們永遠(yuǎn)不會朝未知邁步。?兩者的平衡 正是魔法誕生的地方，?而這是一種我們所有人 每天都要面對的平衡。

首先，讓我講講我的神奇輪椅。?我并不是一直坐輪椅的。?我像你們很多人一樣，?在奔跑、跳躍和舞蹈中長大。?我熱愛跳舞。?然而，在我二十多歲時(shí)，?我開始經(jīng)歷 一系列難以解釋的跌倒。?幾年之后，?我被確診患有 一種隱性遺傳疾病，?叫做遺傳性包涵體肌炎，?簡稱 HIBM。?這是一種進(jìn)行性的肌肉萎縮癥，?它影響到我從頭到腳 的所有肌肉。?HIBM 非常罕見。?在美國不到 200 人被確診。?至今我們都沒有可靠 的治療手段或治愈方法，?在發(fā)作十到十五年內(nèi)，?HIBM 通常會造成四肢癱瘓，?也就是我現(xiàn)在坐輪椅的原因。

我最初被確診時(shí)， 一切都改變了。?這是很可怕的消息，?因?yàn)槲覜]有慢性病或 身體障礙的經(jīng)驗(yàn)。?我也完全不知道 這種病會如何發(fā)展。?但最讓人沮喪的?是聽到別人建議我?抑制自己的雄心與夢想，?改變我對人生的期望。?“你應(yīng)該放棄你的國際職業(yè)。”?“你這個(gè)樣子沒人會和你結(jié)婚。”?“你生小孩的話就是自私。”?由別人而不是我自己?對我的夢想和志向設(shè)限?是荒謬可笑的，?而且令人無法接受。?所以我無視了他們。

我結(jié)了婚。?我自己做出了 不要孩子的決定。?我在確診后?仍繼續(xù)留在聯(lián)合國，?在安哥拉工作了兩年，?一個(gè)從 27 年殘酷內(nèi)戰(zhàn)中 恢復(fù)的國家。?但是，又過了五年之后，?我才正式把我的診斷結(jié)果 報(bào)告給我的雇主。?因?yàn)槲液ε?他們質(zhì)疑我的應(yīng)付能力， 從而讓我丟掉工作。?我在小兒麻痹癥 曾肆虐的國家工作，?所以當(dāng)我聽到別人說?他們覺得我可能是 小兒麻痹癥的幸存者，?我覺得我的秘密很安全。?沒有人問我為什么跛腳走路，?所以我緘口不提。

我花了十年多的時(shí)間?才適應(yīng)了 HIBM 的嚴(yán)重性，?即使基本的動(dòng)作和功能 都變得愈發(fā)困難。?然而，我繼續(xù)追逐我 在世界各地工作的夢想，?甚至被委任為 UNICEF 在海地的?殘疾人聯(lián)絡(luò)點(diǎn)，?在 2010 的破壞性大地震后， 我在那里任職兩年。?之后我的工作 把我?guī)У搅嗣绹?即使疾病惡化得非常明顯，?我需要腿部支架 和助步車才能出行，?我依然渴望著冒險(xiǎn)。?而這一次，?我開始夢想 一次宏大的戶外冒險(xiǎn)。?還有什么能比大峽谷更宏大？

你是否知道每五百萬個(gè) 造訪大峽谷的人中?只有 1% 會下到 峽谷谷底？?我想成為那 1% 中的一員。?唯一的問題是——

唯一的問題是 大峽谷并沒有那么利于通行。?要想從五千英尺 垂直而松散的地勢下去，?我得需要一些幫助。?當(dāng)我面對困難時(shí)，?恐懼并不一定會立刻到來，?因?yàn)槲矣X得不管怎樣，?我總會找到解決的辦法。?而在這件事情中， 我的想法是，?如果我沒法走下去，?我可以學(xué)習(xí)騎馬。?于是我就這么做了。

隨著這個(gè)重大決定的誕生，?我投入了四年時(shí)間，?在恐懼與勇氣之間輾轉(zhuǎn)反側(cè)，?為了進(jìn)行這場為期 12 天的征途。?四天騎馬從南緣到北緣 橫跨大峽谷，?八天劃艇渡過 240 多公里的科羅拉多河，?全程由攝影組跟隨。?劇透警告——我們成功了。?而我也見識了 我最深的恐懼?能以某種方式 對稱地激發(fā)等量的勇氣。?2018 年 4 月 13 日，?坐在離地八英尺處，?騎在名為警長的野馬背上，?我對大峽谷的第一印象?是震驚與恐怖。?誰知道我會恐高呢。

但事到如今，已經(jīng)沒有回頭路了。?我鼓起身體里每一絲勇氣，?不讓自己被恐懼戰(zhàn)勝。?從大峽谷南崖出發(fā)，?我讓自己保持鎮(zhèn)定的方法?唯有深呼吸， 抬頭望云，?以及把注意力集中到 隊(duì)友的聲音上。?然而在第一個(gè)小時(shí)內(nèi)， 災(zāi)難就降臨了。?我在下一大步臺階時(shí)?沒法在馬鞍上保持直立，?向前一撲， 臉砸在了馬的后腦勺上。?現(xiàn)場變得慌亂，?我的頭劇烈疼痛，?但山路過于狹窄， 我們無法下馬。?直到 700 米處的中途休息點(diǎn)，?此時(shí)至少又走了兩個(gè)小時(shí)下坡路，?我們才能停下來，摘下我的頭盔，?看到我的額頭凸出的 雞蛋大小的腫包。?看看我們這么充分的準(zhǔn)備與裝備?怎么現(xiàn)在連冰袋都沒有？

所幸的是， 腫脹向外擴(kuò)散，?之后淤血朝臉上排出， 形成兩只絕妙的黑眼圈，?在紀(jì)錄片里是 無比神奇的妝容。

這并非一段輕松平穩(wěn)的旅程，?然而這一點(diǎn)恰恰是最重要的。?盡管我害怕重新坐上馬鞍，?我還是上了馬。?下到峽谷谷底的路程?就花了總共 10 個(gè)小時(shí)，?這還只是騎馬的四天中的一天。

接下來是強(qiáng)大的急流。?大峽谷中的科羅拉多河?有高度位居全國前列的白浪。?以防萬一我們翻船，?大家練習(xí)讓我游過一處小型激流。?我可以不夸張地說， 這毫無魅力可言。

我在浪里錯(cuò)誤的位置換氣，?被河水嗆到，?沒法操縱自己的方向。?沒錯(cuò)，很嚇人，?但同時(shí)也很美妙。?瀑布，光滑的峽谷，?歷經(jīng)數(shù)十億年光陰的基巖?似乎隨著一天內(nèi)時(shí)間 的流逝改變色彩。?大峽谷是真正的曠野，?當(dāng)?shù)闷鹚袑λ馁澴u(yù)。

這次探險(xiǎn)，?所有的籌備和旅途本身?向我展現(xiàn)了之前 從未體驗(yàn)過的恐懼。?但更重要的是，?它也向我展現(xiàn)了 我能有怎樣的膽量和勇氣。?我的大峽谷之旅并不容易。?這并不是一位亞馬遜女戰(zhàn)士?毫不費(fèi)力地穿過 史詩般景色的圖景。?這是一個(gè)哭著的我，?筋疲力盡，鼻青臉腫地 頂著兩只黑眼圈。?這趟旅程是可怕的，?是充滿壓力的，?也是令人振奮的。

如今旅程已經(jīng)結(jié)束，?很容易對我們的成就輕描淡寫。?我知道我還想劃艇渡河，?這次，劃完全程 445 公里。

但我也知道我再也不會 重復(fù)一遍騎馬的部分了。

實(shí)在是太危險(xiǎn)了。?而那是我真正想說的。?我在這里并不只是 向各位展示我的影像片段。?我在這里是想提醒大家，?人生其實(shí)就是一堂課，?教我們?nèi)绾螌ふ?恐懼與勇氣之間的平衡，?以及理解什么是好主意， 什么并非是好主意。

生活已經(jīng)很可怕了，?所以為了實(shí)現(xiàn)我們的夢想， 我們必須要勇敢。?通過直面我的恐懼?并找到克服它們的勇氣，?我可以發(fā)誓，我的人生非常精彩。?所以生活要有大目標(biāo)，?努力讓你的勇氣 戰(zhàn)勝你的恐懼。?你永遠(yuǎn)也不會知道 它會將你帶向何方。

When we're young, we're innocently brave,?and we fearlessly dream about what our lives might be like.?Maybe you wanted to be an astronaut or a rocket scientist.?Maybe you dreamed of traveling to every continent.?Since I was very young,?I dreamed of working for the United Nations?in some of the most difficult countries in the world.?And thanks to a lot of courage?that dream came true.

But here's the thing about courage:?it doesn't just appear whenever we need it.?It's the result of tough reflection and real work,?involving the balance between fear and bravery.?Without fear, we'll do foolish things.?And without courage, we'll never step into the unknown.?The balance of the two is where the magic lies,?and it's a balance we all deal with every day.

First, a word about my fancy wheels.?I haven't always used a wheelchair.?I grew up like many of you,?running, jumping and dancing.?I love to dance.?However, in my mid-twenties,?I began to experience a series of inexplicable falls.?And a few years later,?I was diagnosed with a recessive genetic condition?called hereditary inclusion body myopathy,?or HIBM.?It's a progressive muscle wasting disease?that affects all of my muscles from head to toe.?HIBM is very rare.?In the United States there are less than 200 people diagnosed.?To date, there is no proved treatment or cure,?and within 10 to 15 years of its onset,?HIBM typically leads to quadriplegia,?which is why I now use a wheelchair.

When I was first diagnosed, everything changed.?It was frightening news?because I had no experience with chronic illness or disabilities.?And I had no idea how the disease might progress.?But what was most disheartening?was to listen to other people advise me?to limit my ambitions and dreams,?and to change my expectations of what to expect from life.?"You should quit your international career."?"No one will marry you this way."?"You would be selfish to have children."?The fact that someone who wasn't me?was putting limitations on my dreams and ambitions?was preposterous.?And unacceptable.?So I ignored them.

I did get married.?And I decided for myself not to have children.?And I continued my career with the United Nations?after my diagnosis,?going to work for two years in Angola,?a country recovering from 27 years of brutal civil war.?However, it would be another five years?until I officially declared my diagnosis to my employer.?Because I was afraid?that they would question my capacity to manage and I'd lose my job.?I was working in countries where polio had been common,?so when I overheard someone say?that they thought I might have survived polio,?I thought my secret was safe.?No one asked why I was limping.?So I didn't say anything.

It took me over a decade?to internalize the severity of HIBM,?even as basic tasks and functions became increasingly difficult.?Yet, I continued to pursue my dream of working all over the world,?and was even appointed as a disability focal point?for UNICEF in Haiti,?where I served for two years after the devastating 2010 earthquake.?And then my work brought me to the United States.?And even as the disease progressed significantly?and I needed leg braces and a walker to get around,?I still longed for adventure.?And this time,?I started dreaming of a grand outdoor adventure.?And what's more grand than the Grand Canyon?

Did you know that for every five million people who visit the Rim?only one percent go down to the canyon's base??I wanted to be a part of that one percent.?The only thing is --

The only thing is that the Grand Canyon isn't exactly accessible.?I was going to need some assistance?to get down the 5,000-foot descent of vertical loose terrain.?Now, when I face obstacles,?fear doesn't necessarily immediately set in?because I assume that one way or another,?I'll figure it out.?And in this case, my thought was,?well, if I can't walk down,?I could learn to ride a horse.?So that's what I did.

And with that fateful decision?began a four-year commitment,?tossing back and forth between fear and courage?to undertake a 12-day expedition.?Four days on horseback to cross Grand Canyon rim to rim,?and eight days rafting 150 miles of the Colorado River,?all with a film crew in tow.?Spoiler alert -- we made it.?But not without showing me how my deepest fear?can somehow manifest a mirror response of equal courage.?On April 13, 2018,?sitting eight feet above the ground,?riding a mustang horse named Sheriff,?my first impression of Grand Canyon?was one of shock and terror.?Who knew I had a fear of heights.

But there was no giving up now.?I mustered up every ounce of courage inside me?to not let my fear get the best of me.?Embarking on the South Rim,?all I could do to keep myself composed?was to breathe deeply, stare up into the clouds?and focus on my team's voices.?But then, in the first hour, disaster struck.?Unable to hold myself upright in the saddle,?going down an oversized step,?I flung forward and smacked my face on the back of the horse's head.?There was panic,?my head hurt fiercely,?but the path was too narrow for us to dismount.?Only at the halfway point at 2,300 feet,?at least another two hours down,?could we stop and remove my helmet?and see the egg-sized bump protruding from my forehead.?For all of that planning and gear,?how is it that we didn't even have an ice pack?

Luckily for all of us, the swelling came outwards,?and would drain into my face as two fantastic black eyes?which is an amazing way to look in a documentary film.

This was not an easy, peaceful journey,?and yet, that was exactly the point.?Even though I was afraid to get back into the saddle,?I got back in.?The descent alone to the canyon floor?took a total of 10 hours?and that was just day one of four riding.

Next came the mighty rapids.?The Colorado River in the Grand Canyon?has some of the highest white water in the country.?And just to be prepared in case we should capsize,?we'd practice having me swim through a smaller rapid.?And it's safe to say it wasn't glamorous.

I took my breath in the wrong part of the wave,?choked on river water?and was unable to steer myself.?Yes, it was scary,?but it was also fantastic.?Waterfalls, slick canyons?and a couple billion years of bedrock?that seemed to change color throughout the day.?The Grand Canyon is true wilderness?and worthy of all of its accolades.

The expedition,?all that planning and the trip itself,?showed me a level of fear I had never experienced before.?But more importantly,?it showed me how boldly courageous I can be.?My Grand Canyon journey was not easy.?This was not a vision of an Amazonian woman?effortlessly making her way through epic scenery.?This was me crying,?exhausted and beat up with two black eyes.?It was scary,?it was stressful,?it was exhilarating.

Now that the trip is over,?it's easy to be blasé about what we achieved.?I know I want to raft the river again.?This time, all 277 miles of it.

But I also know that I would never do the horseback-riding part again.

It's just too dangerous.?And that's my real point.?I'm not just here to show you my film footage.?I'm here to remind us all?that life is really just a lesson?in finding the balance between fear and courage.?And understanding what is and what isn't a good idea.

Life is already scary,?so for our dreams to come true, we need to be brave.?In facing my fears?and finding the courage to push through them,?I swear my life has been extraordinary.?So live big?and try to let your courage outweigh your fear.?You never know where it might take you.

Thank you.