Women are regularly exhorted to demonstrate self-confidence as a strategy to progress their careers, raise their pay, and become more successful at work. Self-help guides commend women to “l(fā)ean in” to reach their goals, “stand their ground,” make strong eye contact, attune their voices, postures, and gestures to come across more assertively, and to “fake it ‘til they make it.” Women have to do all this while balancing on a knife edge the need to remain likeable/warm?by appearing unintimidating, unforceful, and undomineering.

常有人勸誡女性要以自信的形象示人，并以此策略爭(zhēng)取升職加薪、取得更大的職場(chǎng)成功。各類自助指南則建議女性，如果想實(shí)現(xiàn)自己的目標(biāo)，就要“主動(dòng)向前”、“堅(jiān)持自己的立場(chǎng)”，在與他人進(jìn)行眼神交流時(shí)要目光堅(jiān)定，要學(xué)會(huì)調(diào)整自己的聲調(diào)、姿勢(shì)和手勢(shì)，讓自己顯得更為自信，要“假裝自信，直到‘弄假成真’”。與此同時(shí)，女性還要表現(xiàn)出可愛/溫暖的一面，以免給人留下兇狠、強(qiáng)勢(shì)、專橫的形象，平衡二者關(guān)系的難度一如在鋼絲上跳舞。

While confidence is an ostensibly gender-neutral concept, our research found that confidence is not just?gendered?— it’s weaponized against women. When women fail to achieve career goals, leaders are prone to attribute it to a lack of self-confidence. And when women demonstrate high levels of confidence through behaviors, such as being extroverted or assertive, they risk overdoing it and, ironically, being perceived as lacking confidence.

雖然從表面上看，“自信”算不上性別議題，但我們的研究發(fā)現(xiàn)，“自信”一事不僅“男女有別”，而且已經(jīng)成為針對(duì)女性的武器。在女性未能實(shí)現(xiàn)職業(yè)目標(biāo)時(shí)，管理者傾向于將其歸因于女性缺乏自信。頗具諷刺意味的是，在女性通過(guò)外向、果斷的行事風(fēng)格展現(xiàn)出高度自信時(shí)，又有可能被抨擊為“因缺乏自信而過(guò)度表現(xiàn)”。

No matter the outcome, women’s lack of career progression is blamed on them, an attack they share with other underrepresented groups. This leads women to beat themselves up, which can weaken self-esteem and, in a downward spiral, further erode self-perceptions of confidence.

無(wú)論結(jié)果如何，在職場(chǎng)發(fā)展不順時(shí)，女性都只能自己去當(dāng)“背鍋俠”，其他未得到充分代表的群體也深受此種不公待遇之害。受此現(xiàn)象影響，女性（在發(fā)展不順時(shí)）只能怪罪自己，這種自我打擊又會(huì)削弱女性的自尊，形成惡性循環(huán)，進(jìn)一步傷害女性在自信方面的自我認(rèn)知。

What Men and Women Told Us About Confidence

兩性眼中的“自信”有何差別

To understand the impact of confidence on men and women’s career trajectories, we conducted psychoanalytically informed, in-depth interviews with 30 male and 36 female senior leaders, who work as directors, partners, and executives in accounting and finance in the United Kingdom. We asked each person to describe the key moments that shaped their career progression, and how they experienced these moments based on their gender. In particular, we wanted to understand if and how they drew on confidence in their personal narratives, without directly using the word.

為了了解“自信”對(duì)男、女員工職業(yè)軌跡的影響，我們借助精神分析法對(duì)30名男性和36名女性高管進(jìn)行了深入訪談，受訪人士均在英國(guó)會(huì)計(jì)與金融領(lǐng)域身居要職，擔(dān)任著董事、合伙人或各種執(zhí)行官的職務(wù)。我們要求受訪者向我們介紹那些對(duì)其職業(yè)發(fā)展產(chǎn)生了重要影響的關(guān)鍵時(shí)刻，并站在自身性別的立場(chǎng)上闡述其在經(jīng)歷這些時(shí)刻時(shí)的體驗(yàn)。我們尤其想要（在不直接使用“自信”一詞的情況下）了解他們是否從其個(gè)人敘述中獲得了自信，如果是，又是如何獲得的。

The vast majority of the women we interviewed (33 out of 36) raised confidence (or lack thereof) as a central factor obstructing their own and other women’s career progression. For example, one female interviewee castigated herself for failing to negotiate a substantial pay increase to meet the level paid to a male colleague, saying: “I should have had more confidence in myself to push for more.” Another female leader said: “If a job has 10 attributes and a woman has nine, she won’t put herself forward, even while the man has four. I want to do anything I can do [as a leader] to help women with their confidence, to back themselves, and to put themselves forward.”

大多數(shù)女性受訪者（36人中有33人）都認(rèn)為自信（或缺乏自信）是阻礙自己和其他女性取得職業(yè)發(fā)展的核心因素。例如，一位女性受訪者因未能通過(guò)談判將自己的薪資大幅提升到與男同事相同水平而感到非常自責(zé)。她說(shuō)：“我應(yīng)該對(duì)自己更有信心，爭(zhēng)取更高薪水才對(duì)。”另一位女性高管說(shuō)：“假設(shè)有份工作要求應(yīng)征者具備10項(xiàng)技能，某位女員工具備其中9項(xiàng)，那么即便男性競(jìng)爭(zhēng)者只具備其中4項(xiàng)技能，她也不會(huì)毛遂自薦。（作為一名管理者）我愿意竭盡所能來(lái)幫助女性提升自信，為她們提供支持，推動(dòng)她們爭(zhēng)取更多發(fā)展機(jī)會(huì)。”

In stark contrast, the men we interviewed did not mention confidence as a factor relevant to their own career trajectories. In fact, when confidence was raised by six of the 30 men interviewed, it was mentioned only in relation to women’s careers and, in particular, women’s perceived lack of confidence.

與之形成鮮明對(duì)比的是，男性受訪者在談及自身職業(yè)發(fā)展時(shí)，均未將“自信”列作相關(guān)因素。事實(shí)上，在接受采訪的30名男性受訪者中，有6位談及了“自信”一事，不過(guò)針對(duì)的只是女性的職業(yè)發(fā)展，而且說(shuō)的還是“女性明顯缺乏自信”。

For example, one male leader opined: “I find our women … lack self-confidence because they undersell themselves and point out their own weaknesses rather than promoting their strengths. I’m not sure why that is, but sometimes our women partners can be a little aggressive in an interview. I’m not sure if they lack confidence or are overcompensating for something.” Another male leader said: “There was a woman in my team who tried to be like an alpha male. She was clearly acting a role. I tried to get her to be herself. You’re more successful when you’re yourself rather than trying to be ‘one of the lads.’ It was her self-confidence. She was extremely capable and if she had the confidence to match, she would have been more successful.”

比如一位男性高管說(shuō)：“我發(fā)現(xiàn)女同事們……普遍缺乏自信，她們喜歡低估自己的能力、指出自己的不足，而不是彰顯自己的優(yōu)點(diǎn)。我不太能理解她們?yōu)槭裁匆@么做。不過(guò)有時(shí)公司的女性合伙人在面試中可能會(huì)顯得有點(diǎn)咄咄逼人，不知道是不是因?yàn)樗齻內(nèi)狈ψ孕呕虺鲇谀撤N過(guò)度補(bǔ)償?shù)男睦??！绷硪晃荒行愿吖苷f(shuō)：“我們團(tuán)隊(duì)里以前有位女士，一直想把自己弄得比男人還男人，顯得非?？桃?。我也試過(guò)鼓勵(lì)她展現(xiàn)自己真實(shí)的一面，做自己就好。在你做回自己、而不是想要‘和男人稱兄道弟’時(shí)，你會(huì)取得更大的成功。這是她的自信來(lái)源。她的能力非常強(qiáng)，如果擁有與自己能力相匹配的自信，她本可以取得更大的成功。”

In other words, confidence is a highly gendered word aimed at and adopted by both women and men to explain away the slower progression of women at work.

換句話說(shuō)，在解釋女性職場(chǎng)發(fā)展不順的原因時(shí)，男性員工和女性員工都常提及“自信”一詞，而且具有高度性別化的特征。

The Downsides of Confidence

“自信”的負(fù)面影響

Our research not only exposes the gendered nature of the confidence critique, but it also disrupts the positive association between confidence and workplace success. While it’s true that attending to self-confidence has?some benefits for women, for instance in our study it helped them to break down issues into realizable actions, facilitating a positive sense of agency, and providing a psychological salve for anxiety, in the longer term, these are outweighed by broader negative impacts on women’s mental health and gender equality.

我們的研究不僅揭示了“自信”批判的性別化本質(zhì)，還破除了“自信”有助于取得職場(chǎng)成功的迷思。雖然關(guān)注“自信”問(wèn)題對(duì)女性確有一些好處，比如我們?cè)谘芯恐邪l(fā)現(xiàn)，保持“自信”可以幫助她們將問(wèn)題分解為可操作的行動(dòng)，培養(yǎng)正面的主體支配感，并在身陷焦慮時(shí)為自己提供心理安慰，但從長(zhǎng)遠(yuǎn)來(lái)看，這些都無(wú)法彌補(bǔ)“自信”議題對(duì)女性心理健康和性別平等方面產(chǎn)生的更廣泛負(fù)面影響。

First, we found that the therapeutic effects of focusing on confidence are only temporary. Confidence was linked to more detrimental, longer-term effects, such as self-criticism, self-doubt, and overall poorer mental health. For instance, even when some women were unfairly treated in an evaluation or promotion, or suffered intimidation by male colleagues, they felt regretful that they did not “put themselves out there” or “seize opportunities” in those difficult moment(s). Rather than attributing culpability to their supervisors or colleagues, women tended to take full responsibility for matters outside of their control and, moreover, self-blamed. In psychoanalysis,?self-blaming is a destructive and painful response to a physical loss or disappointment. The women in our study recognized that they had been unfairly treated. However, rather than directing their energy towards the organization, they were more likely to self-blame as a way to maintain the fantasy that their ambitions could be attained by exuding the right amount of self-confidence.

首先，我們發(fā)現(xiàn)，關(guān)注“自信”問(wèn)題只能帶來(lái)暫時(shí)的治療效果，卻會(huì)產(chǎn)生更有害、更長(zhǎng)期的影響，比如自我批評(píng)、自我懷疑以及心理健康的整體惡化。例如，即使一些女性在考評(píng)或晉升中受到了不公平的對(duì)待，或遭受了男同事的恐嚇，她們也只會(huì)為自己在那些困難時(shí)刻沒有“主動(dòng)向前”或“抓住機(jī)會(huì)”而感到后悔。女性員工不會(huì)把責(zé)任歸咎于上司或同事，而是傾向于對(duì)她們無(wú)法控制的事情承擔(dān)全部責(zé)任，對(duì)自己“求全責(zé)備”。在精神分析中，自責(zé)是對(duì)實(shí)體損失或失望的一種具有破壞性的痛苦反應(yīng)。在我們的研究中，受訪女性承認(rèn)自己受到了不公待遇。但她們并未將問(wèn)題歸咎于組織，而是更傾向于“反求諸己”，從而保持幻想，讓自己相信只要表現(xiàn)出適當(dāng)?shù)淖孕?，就能?shí)現(xiàn)自己的雄心壯志。

Second, a focus on self-confidence is an individually oriented strategy, and distracts senior leaders from addressing more entrenched organizational barriers to gender equality, including stereotyping, work design, and the privileging of line roles over functional roles, which are more likely to be filled by women.

其次，對(duì)“自信”的關(guān)注會(huì)使高層管理者更多地從“個(gè)體”角度考慮問(wèn)題，而無(wú)法集中精力解決那些阻礙兩性平等的更為根深蒂固的制度性障礙，包括刻板印象、工作設(shè)計(jì)方面的問(wèn)題以及更看重業(yè)務(wù)線而非職能部門（更可能由女性負(fù)責(zé)）的傳統(tǒng)。

Third, the overt focus on confidence leaves intact the underlying assumption that continuously exuding confidence is a positive aspiration. Our research on?inclusive leadership?presents a more nuanced picture. While confidence may be valuable in some situations (such as uncertainty), demonstrating humility and vulnerability has a humanizing effect necessary for creating psychological safety in others, and relatability. In other words, reflection, and openness can be healthy and valuable in terms of creating a more inclusive workplace.

第三，公開提倡“自信”會(huì)讓大家從心底認(rèn)為持續(xù)展現(xiàn)自信面貌是一種積極姿態(tài)。而我們通過(guò)對(duì)包容性領(lǐng)導(dǎo)方式進(jìn)行研究發(fā)現(xiàn)，實(shí)際情況要微妙得多。雖然自信在某些情況下（如不確定的環(huán)境中）可能有其價(jià)值，但展現(xiàn)自己謙遜、脆弱的一面可以讓自己顯得更有人性，而如果想讓他人感到安心、有歸屬感，這種人性化因素必不可少。換句話說(shuō)，要想打造一個(gè)更具包容性的工作場(chǎng)所，自我反思、敞開心扉同樣具有積極價(jià)值。

How Leaders Can Respond

管理者的應(yīng)對(duì)之策

At a practical level, leaders can help address the over-emphasis on confidence as a strategy to advance women, and other underrepresented groups, by:

在實(shí)踐層面上，管理者可以通過(guò)如下方式幫助解決過(guò)分強(qiáng)調(diào)“自信”的問(wèn)題，進(jìn)而提升女性和其他代表性不足群體的職場(chǎng)地位：

1. Declaring a moratorium on the word “confidence.”

Until leaders can be certain that the confidence narrative is not gendered and weaponized against women, we recommend that the focus on confidence be suspended, particularly in feedback sessions, performance, and promotion reviews. This will force leaders to look for alternative ways to build women’s capabilities (e.g. through visible leadership opportunities), and analyze more deeply organizational roadblocks to their career progression.

1、宣布暫停使用“自信”一詞

在管理者能夠確定“自信”一詞不會(huì)成為性別議題且不會(huì)被用作攻擊女性的武器之前，我們建議先暫時(shí)放下對(duì)“自信”的關(guān)注，特別是不要再將其設(shè)為反饋會(huì)及業(yè)績(jī)、晉升評(píng)估中的議題。如此可以推動(dòng)管理者尋找其他方法來(lái)培養(yǎng)女性員工的工作能力（例如為其提供管理團(tuán)隊(duì)取得高光業(yè)績(jī)的機(jī)會(huì)），更深入地分析阻礙女性職業(yè)發(fā)展的制度性障礙。

2. Valuing vulnerability.

A more diverse workforce is calling into question old styles of leadership behavior and normative standards that have privileged incumbent groups. Placing more value on demonstrating humility and vulnerability can help to correct the overweighting of value placed on exuding confidence. Leaders have the opportunity to foster and applaud the demonstration of these behaviors rather than tamping them down.

2、重視展現(xiàn)脆弱一面的價(jià)值

隨著員工隊(duì)伍的日益多元化，偏向“當(dāng)權(quán)群體”的傳統(tǒng)管理模式和規(guī)范標(biāo)準(zhǔn)也日漸遭到質(zhì)疑。如果我們能更加重視展現(xiàn)謙遜、脆弱一面的價(jià)值，就可以更好地解決當(dāng)前過(guò)度重視自信的問(wèn)題。管理者應(yīng)該鼓勵(lì)、提倡相關(guān)行為，而不是予以打壓。

3. Redesigning training programs.

Some organizations offer “women only” confidence building courses, reinforcing confidence as a gendered need. If individuals do require help in building their self-esteem, then as a bare minimum we suggest that such courses are based on?individual needs, i.e. not limited by gender identity.

3、重新設(shè)計(jì)培訓(xùn)計(jì)劃

有些組織會(huì)提供“僅限女性”的自信培養(yǎng)課程，進(jìn)一步強(qiáng)化了只有女性才需要提升自信的刻板印象。如果個(gè)人確實(shí)需要那種幫助其建立自信的課程，那么我們建議至少應(yīng)當(dāng)根據(jù)個(gè)人需要而非性別認(rèn)同提供相關(guān)課程。

Women are frequently proffered admonitions about confidence, intended as “well-meaning” career advice, only to find themselves walking an enervating tightrope of exuding just the “perfect” amount of self-confidence: a psychological challenge men rarely face. Not only is this damaging to women’s mental well-being but the focus on self-confidence also deftly distracts leaders from addressing structural barriers to gender equity. We suggest that this risk/reward profile means it is now time to declare a moratorium on the confidence narrative.

置身職場(chǎng)，常有人告誡女性要保持自信，雖是出于善意，卻將女性置于一種男性鮮少遇到的艱難境地，只能想方設(shè)法表現(xiàn)出“恰到好處”的自信。過(guò)度關(guān)注“自信”議題不僅會(huì)損害女性的心理健康，還會(huì)分散管理者的注意力，使其無(wú)法更好解決那些阻礙性別平等的制度性問(wèn)題。我們認(rèn)為，鑒于我們付出的風(fēng)險(xiǎn)成本和所能收獲的回報(bào)，現(xiàn)在是時(shí)候暫停討論“自信”問(wèn)題了。

關(guān)鍵詞：職場(chǎng)

達(dá)倫·貝克（Darren T. Baker）朱麗葉·伯克（Juliet Bourke）| 文??

達(dá)倫·貝克博士是愛爾蘭都柏林大學(xué)邁克爾·斯莫菲特商業(yè)學(xué)院（UCD Michael Smurfit Graduate Business School）社會(huì)商業(yè)專業(yè)助理教授，專注從倫理和精神分析的角度對(duì)商業(yè)及社會(huì)遇到的重大挑戰(zhàn)和機(jī)遇進(jìn)行分析，涉及領(lǐng)域包括可持續(xù)性、企業(yè)社會(huì)責(zé)任、多元化和跨部門領(lǐng)導(dǎo)力等。

朱麗葉·伯克博士是新南威爾士大學(xué)商學(xué)院管理與治理學(xué)院實(shí)踐專業(yè)（School of Management and Governance, UNSW Business School）教授，《集思廣益：思維多元化和包容性領(lǐng)導(dǎo)方式的非凡力量》（Which Two Heads Are Better Than One: The Extraordinary Power of Diversity of Thinking and Inclusive Leadership）一書作者。

劉雋 | 編輯